...Firstly, I spoke with the club doctor and arranged to meet Dr M, a specialist in this procedure. He explained the process which went in one ear and out the other, mainly because all I heard was how he was going to stick a tube, 12000ft up my backside....
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...I left the hospital with a powdered solution called ‘MoviPrep’ In itself this sounds quite innocuous but trust me when I say it’s one of the worst inventions known to man or woman. I left his office knowing I had a month or so before the procedure...
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...The day before the colonoscopy I followed the instructions explaining what I should and shouldn’t eat, but all I could think about was the 12000ft tube that was looming the next day. I stopped eating at 9pm and mentally prepared for what was coming...
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...The next morning I made my first solution of MoviPrep. I mixed 2 sachets of powder with 1 litre of water and this took 1hr30 to drink. The reason it takes so long and what no-one tells you is that it tastes like orange flavour cat urine mixed with toilet cleaner...
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...MoviPrep is a laxative so you are advised to “stay near a toilet” To be more accurate it should tell you to stay on the toilet as you will experience what can only be described as a nuclear bomb going off in your stomach...
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...This human waterfall goes on for an hour or so until your bowels are completely and utterly emptied. You’re so relieved when it’s all over UNTIL you then realise you’ve got to make up another solution of MoviPrep and do it all over again...
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...Now that I was 10kg lighter, I had the small issue of a 45 minute drive to the hospital in Manchester. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem but I’ve now had 2 litres of nuclear laxative and I’m struggling to walk 12 yards to the toilet...
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...The father in law volunteered to drive me. I didn’t explain the morning that I’ve had to him and that I contemplated buying some sort of adult nappy or bringing a waterproof coat for him incase another explosion went off...
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...We managed to complete the journey without any incidents and went through to the ward to prepare for the tube and film crew who were going to have a look up my backside. Once the hospital gown was on I was ready to go...
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...Now in the room I was having a nervous look around for the 12000ft tube and decided they must bring it in after the anaesthesiologist works his magic. I then witnessed a 20 minute journey through my bowels on a TV screen and asked Dr M the most serious question of all..
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...Did he find my head up there as I’ve been told on many occasions that’s where it’s at? Thankfully it was the easiest of procedures and my bowels are completely clear of any polyps and I have no worries whatsoever...
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...The next step for me is to get some genetic tests to see whether my Mum’s bowel cancer could have been passed on genetically. I’m just glad this doesn’t involve MoviPrep!...
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...I’ve shared this with you for a reason! Colonoscopies aren’t a joke and neither is bowel cancer. It’s vile disease that can be prevented with some education and awareness on early signs of the disease. There’s no shame in doing what I’ve done...
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...Go on our amazing
@nhs website to get any information required and please speak to your GP. It was 23 years ago that my Mum passed away. With the advances in medicine since then, I would like to envisage that taking my advice could help save your life.Deze collectie tonen
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