John Quaintance

@John_Quaintance

Floor model, some wear and tear.

In the candy aisle
Joined September 2011
145 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    18 Nov 2016

    As a public service, here are the two boards from the Workaholics writer's room of comedy phrases that need to be retired, started season 2.

    250 replies . 4,166 retweets 11,301 likes
  2. 4h

    Yogurt is 400% grosser if you spell it 'yoghurt.'

    23 likes
  3. 7h

    You have 3 Doors Down and a Springsteen tribute band playing. This is a bad weeknight at a Laughlin casino.

    Inauguration Day is turning out to be even bigger than expected. January 20th, Washington D.C. Have fun!
    3 replies . 9 retweets 53 likes
  4. 8h

    Trump is President Snow without the talent for botany.

    1 reply . 10 likes
  5. 14h

    ILLEGITIMATE "PRESIDENT" CITES FAKE NEWS NETWORK IN EFFORT TO STOP FALLOUT!

    INTELLIGENCE INSIDERS NOW CLAIM THE TRUMP DOSSIER IS "A COMPLETE FRAUD!"
    1 reply . 2 retweets 17 likes
  6. 16h

    Number of days since Trump insulted a national hero: 1̶1̶2̶ 0

    2 replies . 9 retweets 31 likes
  7. Jan 13

    Remember: when a black guy does it after a TD it's disrespectful but when a white guy does it after helping kill sick people it's adorable.

    513 replies . 29,074 retweets 43,407 likes
  8. Jan 13

    Trump is like a guy who got everything in the divorce even though he cheated but still won't stop trashing his ex-wife.

    5 replies . 53 retweets 174 likes
  9. Jan 12

    BROOKSTONE MANAGER: Hi, can I help you? JOE BIDEN: Yeah, I need a REALLY nice gift for a friend.

    10 retweets 66 likes
  10. Jan 12

    I would be a great hockey coach as long as all the team needed was someone to shout PUT A BODY ON HIM every ten seconds.

    1 reply . 2 retweets 10 likes
  11. Jan 12

    Whoever the Democratic nominee is in the next Presidential election their slogan has to be "Hindsight is 2020."

    8 replies . 56 retweets 101 likes
  12. Jan 12

    Nobody in this house respects the sanctity of my earthquake kit.

    3 replies . 14 likes
  13. Jan 11

    TRUMP: I'm too smart to be recorded in a compromising position. REPORTER: What about the Access Hollywood bus? TRUMP: You're fake news!

    10 replies . 305 retweets 571 likes
  14. Jan 11

    Yeah, we know the score-- you can't pay a Russian hooker to piss on our leg and tell us it's raining!

    We had a great News Conference at Trump Tower today. A couple of FAKE NEWS organizations were there but the people truly get what's going on
    1 reply . 12 retweets 28 likes
  15. Jan 11

    First Obama says goodbye, then our final season of Workaholics starts tonight. Dark 24 hours for our republic. Tune in!

    13 likes
  16. Jan 11

    Hahaha, "leak."

    Intelligence agencies should never have allowed this fake news to "leak" into the public. One last shot at me.Are we living in Nazi Germany?
    2 retweets 4 likes
  17. Jan 10

    After losing the popular vote by millions it must feel good for Trump to finally be associated with number one.

    9 retweets 57 likes
  18. Jan 10

    There's no weapon on earth that will ever defeat Joe Biden's finger guns.

    21 retweets 69 likes
  19. Jan 10

    'Excitement in River City Music Program at All-time High'

    'U.S. Small-Business Optimism Index Surges by Most Since 1980'
    4 likes
  20. Jan 9

    The turtle and the hair (in this version of the story, America loses.)

    2 replies . 30 retweets 82 likes
  21. Jan 9

    In Trump's defense, the only movie he's ever seen is Home Alone 2.

    1 reply . 1 retweet 15 likes

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