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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    18. sij

    Welcome to Twitter. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 3 sata

    Me: I can’t fall asleep at night Doctor: Okay, right after you lay down for sleep, ask your wife how her day was and that should fix it

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    11. pro 2019.

    I quit drinking and I’m boring. I want to unfriend myself.

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 4 sata

    My Keurig broke today so I had to drink tea like I was taking a long and tedious journey to disappointment.

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. ožu 2018.

    I sound my barbaric yawn over the bedrooms of the house.

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    22. stu 2018.

    If you’re bored, just be rad instead.

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    24. kol 2017.

    He caught me making googly eyes at my phone. I could've avoided a fight by showing him it was just puppy gifs but I was bored.

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 19 sati

    I think I can. I think I can I know I won't But I think I can

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    Why thank you Internet stranger for the pic. Your mother must be so proud.

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I just got my non-verbal autistic daughter to answer me by exclaiming "TALKING IS FUN!!" she looked at me dead in the eyes all serious and said "no it not" and I had to admit she was right

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Our washing machine has ten different settings of which I use one.

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    Sick of trying to follow my dreams I'm just gonna - Whoa.

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    you shit on the floor ONE TIME and all of a sudden the hotel cleaning lady thinks she can side-eye you, smh

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present. And what a shitty present it is. It’s like the Universe doesn’t even know you at all.

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    What do you mean you no longer like one of the five foods you actually eat: a parenting memoir

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. ožu 2014.

    In real life, people rarely listen to me. Sometimes I just stop talking and no one even notic

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    11. lis 2014.

    Doodling: back to the old drawing bored.

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. srp 2019.

    Fireworks are boring. I’m taking my family to the pharmacy to watch skyrocketing prescription drug prices.

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 6 sati

    Wife: How was your day, babe? Me: Well, I -- Wife: Boooooooooooooring!

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    13. sij 2015.

    Wife: Go ahead. Me: Really? Wife: Yes. Me: It might hurt. Wife: Just go slow. Me: I promise. Wife: Okay. Explain the Infield Fly Rule to me.

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    8. ruj 2019.

    I really wanna press it again cuz this funeral is super boring but I think the widow is starting to get ticked off.

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