Is parrot-meat kosher? Asking for a friend.
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John Keefe
@JohnKeefe13
I am an author. I author things.
patreon.com/johnkeefe13Joined March 2014
John Keefe’s Tweets
The biggest plot hole in #Westworld is that they went with all this cowboy nonsense when they could have had a park full of real Pokemon.
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City's exploding right now. With awesome. If this is a sign of the apocalypse, I'm down. #Cubs #HellFrozeOver
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Reality is officially over. Nowhere to go from here. #Cubs#Cubsvsdodgers
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Cool guys. Cubs pennant. We can all stop now. Reality is over. 8 out of 10, would experience again. See you all in the next reality. #cubs
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Can't wait for fans of the Racist Cheeto to explain how he actually won last night. Denial is a hell of a drug. #Debates2016 #RacistCheeto
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Seriously, #NintendoE3. We couldn't keep pots or chickens safe, and now you're giving us FIRE and NUDITY?!?!
#LegendOfZeldaBreathofTheWild
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I hope this game does not defeat us. I'd love to see Norman Reedus' Fetus.
#DeathStranding #Kojima #wtfisupwiththewhales
Ships must sail with lots of speedus, to take us there to #NormanReedus. Perhaps Sir Reedus does not need us. I love to see his #NormanFetus
#NormanReedus has a fetus. It is a Norman Reedus Fetus. A bunch of ships will form a Fleetus. Perhaps they lead us to Norman Reedus Fetus
You got your Inception in my Marvel.
You got your Marvel in my Inception.
I'm so okay with this.
#DoctorStrange #Marvel
Chef: The Abridged Script | The Editing Room - go.shr.lc/1YdMYuU via
New script dropped. Check it out.
#SuperMonday Come on people. Get off your phones and vote. There's nothing that scares "the man" more.
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"Personally, I always thought Leo was overrated."
- Fucking everyone in the future
#LeoWins
#MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain Honestly I just like saying "Drumpf". It's much more fun.
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#MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain Can't wait to see how Drumpf apologists will be handling this one.
#MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain Because seriously, you don't want a country run like a business. That means he's going to liquidate Alabama.
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Oh god, the #BernieInChicago rally has become trapped in a circular "wave". We're doomed. Doooooomed.
#BernieInChicago only twenty minutes since doors opened and we're already almost at capacity. This is like a Stones concert, swear to god.
This #BernieInChicago rally has the best soundtrack. Muse, Neil Young, BeeGees. Can this just be a concert now?
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New script dropped! Just in time for #Oscar season! Sort of!
Steve Jobs: The Abridged Script | The Editing Room - bit.ly/1nZbC6v
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#GreetTheAliensIn5Words Please ignore all the smog.
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"If #BernieSanders is elected I'm moving to-"
*realizes literally every other developed country has implemented similar policies*
"Oh."
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Just so you know, if you're a younger sibling, you probably got away with some horrible shit that your older sibling wouldn't dare try.
Wealthy Donors Pump Millions Into Sanders’ Campaign In Last-Ditch Effort To Destroy His Credibility
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#CaucusForBernie BREAKING: Coins used in caucus coin toss discovered to be Hillary supporters.
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#CaucusForBernie BREAKING: Sanders weakens O'Malley, captures him in soul gem.
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#CaucusForBernie To be clear, last night illustrated perfectly how every individual contribution matters. Every single individual person.
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#CaucusForBernie Thank you for time, Mr. O'Malley. Now, please, consider endorsing the Bern Unit.
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#CaucusForBernie Because I'm pretty sure Mr. Rodgers just changed his name and moved to Vermont.
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