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JohannesTEvans's profile
a raconteur of repute
a raconteur of repute
a raconteur of repute
@JohannesTEvans

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a raconteur of repute

@JohannesTEvans

18+. author and lego enthusiast. cymru am byth. gay. trans. dandy. he/him. i write books full of queer and trans characters. buy them to make a bigot sad

Galway, Ireland
ko-fi.com/johannesevans
Joined February 2020

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    a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

    monsterfucking is great and wonderful but,,,, monstrous romance... being COURTED by monster🥺or by alien monsters trying to romance the object of their desires but not Quite Getting human customs, or trying to communicate their affection in monstrous ways

    6:29 AM - 1 Apr 2021
    • 2,606 Retweets
    • 8,065 Likes
    • SpoopyBoo | Koga’s Wife James Roe RaVEN⁷🌙 Trinibot :p Michaellandman 𝕄𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣™ oz, ceo of towa emo noz moscada Ellis (ile/elu/ele)
    62 replies 2,606 retweets 8,065 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        like i think often about mating bites and marks, and that kind of shared connection, especially when a mating bite leads to some form of telepathic connection and is a permanent commitment and A Big Deal? but also just Monster Bite

        2 replies 37 retweets 795 likes
        Show this thread
      3. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        NUPTIAL GIFTS,,,,, you know when some insects give another insect a nuptial gift bc they're like "this has more nutritional value than I do, please eat it instead of me after we finish boning" but like,,, soft

        5 replies 35 retweets 722 likes
        Show this thread
      4. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        i'm obsessed with a monster who doesn't quite understand what makes a Good Gift from a human perspective, but they know their human likes beautiful things or soft things for their bed, and so you have the monster who brings colourful feathers or tufts of fur or gems

        2 replies 39 retweets 741 likes
        Show this thread
      5. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        (LIKE... MONSTER OF THE MOUNTAINS WHO COMES DOWN TO PEER AT THE BLACKSMITH AND WHATEVER THEY BRING THE BLACKSMITH PUTS INTO JEWELRY TO WEAR... BLACKSMITH WEARING ARM BANDS ENCRUSTED WITH JEWELS THEIR MONSTER BF BROUGHT THEM,,,,)

        3 replies 32 retweets 762 likes
        Show this thread
      6. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        and gifts that are foodstuffs are so cute in general, like a monster who keeps bringing the object of their affection breakfast in the forms of berries or leaves, or maybe small animals like rabbits

        1 reply 17 retweets 611 likes
        Show this thread
      7. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        but nuptial gifts that are specifically made by the insect themselves and i am literally weeping at the idea of monster boyfriend who is like "i love you and i know you won't eat me and couldn't if you tried bc you are so puny and weak but i made this for you anyway, enjoy!"

        1 reply 31 retweets 685 likes
        Show this thread
      8. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        and human who is like, uh, okay? and is flattered bc this is nice and they know monster doesn't cook per se but obviously they must do SOMETHING, and so they bite into this globe-shaped dewdrop and it's sweet and kind of... strange-tasting

        1 reply 16 retweets 572 likes
        Show this thread
      9. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        "What's this made of?" "me! it is a gift!" "It's made of... you?" "Yes, it took a lot of energy, I hope you like it very much" "which... which part of you, exactly...?" "from my glands, like this--"

        2 replies 22 retweets 618 likes
        Show this thread
      10. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        like i just. I'm so soft for monster who gives human something of theirs to wear - an old claw or tooth for example, and the human explaining that they can't reciprocate with the same, bc they won't grow theirs back, but they can do jewellery or a lock of hair

        4 replies 24 retweets 613 likes
        Show this thread
      11. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        MONSTERS WHO DO MATING DANCES... 😭 like driders or bird men or other monsters to whom the courtship dance is a hugely important part of building relationships and showing commitment and the human either awkward (it's like being serenaded) or ABSOLUTELY RAPT AND KEEPS CLAPPING

        2 replies 29 retweets 634 likes
        Show this thread
      12. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        monster with a mating call teaching human to try to do it back and keep falling over themselves laughing at human who just really isn't getting it right but it's so cute that they're trying

        1 reply 23 retweets 602 likes
        Show this thread
      13. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        monster for whom grooming is extremely intimate and only done with close loved ones and trusted friends but they don't tell human that as they show human how to comb through their feathers or fur

        3 replies 21 retweets 603 likes
        Show this thread
      14. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        OR,,,, monster is shedding and they're very vulnerable and want somewhere SAFE, and ordinarily wouldn't let anyone see them in this state but they trust their human 🥺

        2 replies 23 retweets 571 likes
        Show this thread
      15. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        i love gross stuff like monster always giving first bite of their kill to their mate which means you have human politely taking a piece of raw elk and chewing it but they're not Incredibly Happy about it fjdjdjdj

        3 replies 17 retweets 566 likes
        Show this thread
      16. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        monster very gentle touching their human so they don't cut or scratch them by mistake... holding human gently bc human is so much smaller or more fragile HUMAN MILKING MONSTER'S VENOM SACS

        3 replies 19 retweets 539 likes
        Show this thread
      17. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        a raconteur of repute Retweeted a raconteur of repute

        (If you love monsters BTW remember to share the #MonstrousMayChallenge with your fellow monster loving friends, and join us on the prompts in May! https://twitter.com/JohannesTEvans/status/1376905992915533825?s=19 …)

        a raconteur of repute added,

        Est. 2021. The Monstrous May Challenge. #MonstrousMayChallenge. Kiss a monster today.
        a raconteur of repute @JohannesTEvans
        Love monsters? The #MonstrousMayChallenge is going to be a series of monster-centric prompts for every day of the month of May! Full prompt list in the next tweet! pic.twitter.com/5pPInZF6dx
        Show this thread
        1 reply 22 retweets 257 likes
        Show this thread
      18. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        monster who makes a regular migration for the moon or the tide or something else, and inviting their human with them, or bringing stuff back from each aspect of their journey

        1 reply 7 retweets 432 likes
        Show this thread
      19. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        monster teaching human to do their dances, and their dances aren't anything the human would call a dance but they're fun and the monster praises how beautifully they move

        1 reply 7 retweets 417 likes
        Show this thread
      20. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        monster marking their human's place in the stone or the sand or on cave walls or carving into trees OR,,,,, human carving theirs and monster's initials into a tree and monster being absolutely dazzled by it

        1 reply 8 retweets 424 likes
        Show this thread
      21. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        monsters who are Highly Respectful of their mates to be during courtship so it's this monster constantly bowing their head or making certain movements snd the human is baffled until the monster touches their snout to the human's nose

        1 reply 18 retweets 441 likes
        Show this thread
      22. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        monster lying down with human and asking questions about their scars, their tattoos, pointing out the scars on their own body, gently tugging the human's hands to trace where the texture of the scales is different, where their carapace is marked

        1 reply 10 retweets 425 likes
        Show this thread
      23. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        monster too big to wear a wedding ring so they wear it on the tip of their tusk or a horn

        4 replies 28 retweets 470 likes
        Show this thread
      24. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        monster frightened of intimidating their human so they make themselves very small or only show their shadow monster who doesn't have "kissing" but their human kisses them and they try equivalents

        2 replies 16 retweets 452 likes
        Show this thread
      25. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        monster inviting human into their territory and getting them to sit down in all their favourite places,,,, or stealing their human's clothes,,, bc they want to bring the human's scent home with them like they mark human's space with theirs

        2 replies 13 retweets 439 likes
        Show this thread
      26. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        a raconteur of repute Retweeted a raconteur of repute

        if you like this thread btw, you can leave a tip here: https://ko-fi.com/johannesevans  I have stories including monsterfuckery on my Patreon: http://patreon.com/JohannesEvans  Buy books: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/JohannesEvans … Tweetfic you can read here on Twitter for free!:https://twitter.com/JohannesEvans/status/1348948627142684672?s=19 …

        a raconteur of repute added,

        a raconteur of repute @JohannesTEvans
        All my Tweetfic in one thread that I will add to keep them collected together! If you enjoy my Tweetfic, please share, check out my pinned for more fiction, and consider leaving me a tip: https://ko-fi.com/johannesevans 
        Show this thread
        1 reply 10 retweets 172 likes
        Show this thread
      27. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        monster who wants to sleep with their human and watch over them... monster who calls up in a ball with human sleeping in the middle human who loves to sleep ON TOP of their monster

        3 replies 15 retweets 430 likes
        Show this thread
      28. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        monster who wants to Stay Up to make sure nothing can creep up on their human in the night monster who definitely can't fit in human's clothes but they can wear a scrap of t-shirt around their wrist 🥺

        2 replies 6 retweets 385 likes
        Show this thread
      29. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        sexy vampire absolutely scandalised by their human partner asking them to drink blood from them bc I Love and Respect You, I Would Never

        3 replies 26 retweets 448 likes
        Show this thread
      30. a raconteur of repute‏ @JohannesTEvans Apr 1

        human being introduced to many other very big very scary monsters and seeing their monster be Extremely Possessive and it's very 😳 to be growled over and HELD

        4 replies 34 retweets 523 likes
        Show this thread
      31. End of conversation

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