Joe Mulder

@JoeMulder

Twitter non-sensation.

Los Angeles
poopreading.com
Joined April 2009
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    5 Aug 2016

    "It's a marathon, not a race." - Johnny Bananas, MTV's "The Challenge."

    1 retweet 2 likes
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  2. 22 hours ago

    I want to come up with a catchy nickname for this “explosive” rookie running back, TRENTON CANNON, who plays his home games in New Jersey, but I’m just coming up empty...

    8 replies 17 retweets 26 likes
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  3. Aug 10

    The Patriots are only 5-4 in their last nine games against the Dolphins (The Dolphins!). You will never convince me that Belichick doesn’t intentionally throw the game in Miami every year to manufacture an excuse to excoriate his cruising 9-2 squad in practice the following week.

    2 likes
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  4. Aug 10

    Fifteen minutes after I wrote this, the Bills scored a touchdown and won 17-16.

    I've been a Vikings fan my whole life. Trust me: there's NO WAY the Bills don't win this game 17-16.
    Undo
  5. Aug 10

    Can't sleep; torturing myself with old Vikings tweets. Had no memory of this 2011 game, but since I had a date I could look it up. They lost 26-23. At home. To the Lions.

    20-0 halftime lead... let's see if the Vikings defense continues to employ its typical second half "break but don't bend" strategy.
    4 likes
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  6. Retweeted
    27 Jan 2015

    Lady Ghostbusters? Black James Bond? Old Han Solo? By God, it's almost like things are changing and I might not be immortal.

    1 retweet 2 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    23 Dec 2014

    Not only should Idris Elba be the next James Bond, they should CGI him into all previous James Bond movies.

    1 retweet
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  8. Retweeted
    Aug 9

    Six months of firearms training, all for nothing.

    James Bond Producers Are Leaning Toward Idris Elba As the Next 007
    888 replies 3,478 retweets 43,621 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    Aug 8

    just rented to own the libs

    8 replies 11 retweets 228 likes
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  10. Retweeted
    Aug 8

    The Oscars have been called irrelevant since the start. Committing to their principles (i.e. not "popularity") has kept them alive. It's like if Jeopardy! added a multiple choice round. More people would know answers at home but do you really want to win Multiple Choice Jeopardy?

    28 replies 164 retweets 1,191 likes
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  11. Aug 8

    Hello, I'm Paisley Zevon. Your pledge dollars will go to fund programming such as

    Your NPR name is the name of your favorite pattern and a deceased singer/songwriter. I’m Argyle Cohen and you’re listening to NPR.
    1 reply 2 likes
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  12. Aug 6

    It was “ALLIANCE.”

    1 reply 5 likes
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  13. Aug 6

    "Succession:" What if "Billions" wasn't fun?

    2 replies
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  14. Retweeted
    Aug 4

    Sandy Koufax, career: 2,324 innings, 131 ERA+, 53.2 WAR, .655 Win% Johan Santana, career: 2,026 innings, 136 ERA+, 51.0 WAR, .641 Win%

    8 replies 29 retweets 95 likes
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  15. Aug 3

    Let this be the first of many times I say this over the course of the next seven months: the Vikings are going to win the Super Bowl.

    0:42
    superbowl LIII champions hope y’all enjoy 😂😂
    Show this thread
    3 likes
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  16. Retweeted
    May 23

    Never been a big fan of musicals, but ’s opening number about the new star of Hamilton has turned me around.

    3 replies 17 retweets 48 likes
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  17. Retweeted
    Aug 2

    I finally knew what a meme was. Then a 20 yr old laughed and said “You silly, real memes are videos with no text” and I realized that social security should just end without warning

    1 retweet 1 like
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  18. Aug 1

    . The rogue apostrophe is so much more offensive than the missing word could possibly be.

    1 retweet 13 likes
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  19. Jul 31

    “Jack Sock Used For Doughy White Guy’s Amusement; Feels Crusty Afterwards” (I have made many “Jack Sock” jokes over the years, and I don’t blame him for blocking me. If I were him, I’d block me)

    2 likes
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  20. Jul 31

    Andre the Giant offers peanut.

    Share the plot of your favorite movie in five words.
    Undo
  21. Jul 31

    The actual guy! The actual guy is way worse!

    I am outraged by, well, you obviously know, but even moreso, I am disappointed in those who have yet to show the courage to express their condemnation. I don’t know which is worse.
    1 like
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