Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
Joe8Bit's profile
Joe Pettersson
Joe Pettersson
Joe Pettersson
@Joe8Bit

Tweets

Joe Pettersson

@Joe8Bit

Black Lives Matter.

London
joe8bit.com
Joined April 2010

Tweets

  • © 2021 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

    I saw a tweet asking why sometimes when you unsubscribe from an email list it says it can ‘take a few days’. Buckle up, as I have a RIDICULOUS story about this happening in The Enterprise™️...

    2:17 PM - 30 Jul 2019
    • 6,980 Retweets
    • 15,000 Likes
    • Fredrik Norlin Steven Moschidis Sean Gray President and CEO, Antifa for America Inc. thenabzy Odi 🛩️ Stefan Kögl Ian Mechanic Dave
    269 replies 6,980 retweets 15,000 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        There’s a bank. Let’s assume you’ve heard of them, in fact if you’re in the UK there’s a 10 in 1 chance they’re YOUR bank. I was an overpayed ‘consultant’ at this bank.

        7 replies 15 retweets 520 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        This bank sends marketing emails. There’s a little ‘unsubscribe’ link at the bottom of the mail. People often click it.

        1 reply 9 retweets 450 likes
        Show this thread
      4. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        When they do it calls an antique web service that runs ‘somewhere’ at the bank. Honestly, it took me 3 weeks to find out where.

        5 replies 15 retweets 687 likes
        Show this thread
      5. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        This web service sends an email to an internal email address every time it’s clicked. This happens 100s of times a day.

        1 reply 8 retweets 504 likes
        Show this thread
      6. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        This email was originally sent to an individual. They left the bank five years before.

        4 replies 7 retweets 703 likes
        Show this thread
      7. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        This mail address is now forwarded to an email group. They couldn’t change the address as it’s hard coded and they don’t have the code that was used to compile this Java 6 service.

        14 replies 29 retweets 919 likes
        Show this thread
      8. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        This email group is monitored by two people in the banks offshore centre in Hyderabad. They worked super hard and always SMASHED their job; but holy crap it was soul crushing.

        3 replies 8 retweets 711 likes
        Show this thread
      9. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        When I spoke to them via VC they had the Enterprise 1000 Yard Stare. They’ve banged their head against this thing for YEARS and it’s NEVER changed.

        1 reply 9 retweets 642 likes
        Show this thread
      10. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        When they get a mail, they need to run a SQL query to see if that mail address is associated with a customer (which results in one process) or if it’s not (which results in a separate process)

        4 replies 7 retweets 597 likes
        Show this thread
      11. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        If they’re a customer, they execute another SQL query that updates a customer record in a type of ETL staging area. Every one of these changes is reviewed (at 4pm UK time) by a team in an office in Scotland. If they approve it, it gets executed 24 hours LATER at 4pm

        3 replies 10 retweets 670 likes
        Show this thread
      12. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        If this person is NOT a customer, they add it to an excel and email it (just before they go home) to a marketing team in Swindon.

        1 reply 8 retweets 554 likes
        Show this thread
      13. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        The marketing team use tea leaves and chicken bones to decide if this person is a ‘high vale prospect’ (their ‘SLA’ is ‘within 48 hours’). If they AREN’T they add the address to another excel and email the original team in India. They use their ‘process’ to execute a SQL query

        3 replies 22 retweets 993 likes
        Show this thread
      14. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        If they ARE a ‘high value prospect’ the marketing team MANUALLY sends an email asking if they REALLY REALLY want to unsubscribe? It looks like an automated email, but it ain’t.

        5 replies 20 retweets 883 likes
        Show this thread
      15. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        If they answer yes (they had to literally reply ‘YES’) then the team in Swindon send a THIRD excel back to India and the ceremonial SQL queries are run.

        8 replies 11 retweets 629 likes
        Show this thread
      16. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        IIRC this took FOUR BUSINESS DAYS on average. On average ~700 people unsubscribed a day and ~70% of those were deemed ‘high value prospects’.

        8 replies 19 retweets 779 likes
        Show this thread
      17. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 30 Jul 2019

        There’s another story about how the two people from India joined our engineering team and became the Product Owners for the thing that replaced it 💪

        5 replies 23 retweets 1,555 likes
        Show this thread
      18. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 31 Jul 2019

        They were also two of the nicest, most caring, hardest working people I've ever had the opportunity to work with. They were the reason why this awful corporate clusterfuck of a process worked so 'smoothly' for all those years.

        5 replies 19 retweets 1,134 likes
        Show this thread
      19. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 31 Jul 2019

        If those things didn't make an ideal, A+ candidate to own the replacement system I don't know what did.

        1 reply 7 retweets 616 likes
        Show this thread
      20. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 31 Jul 2019

        They eventually moved to the UK, and one of them is now in charge of a team of 40+ people!

        5 replies 7 retweets 1,019 likes
        Show this thread
      21. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 31 Jul 2019

        Why had they been ignored and overlooked for so long, and why every bit of their work needed to be 'checked' by a team in the UK… you'll need to fill in the gaps on that one-oh wait no, it was prejudice against offshore workers and a light sparkling of racism! ✨

        28 replies 111 retweets 2,913 likes
        Show this thread
      22. Joe Pettersson‏ @Joe8Bit 31 Jul 2019

        My consigliere have informed me I should take advantage of this sudden attention to mention @permutive is hiring! We’re like, cool to work for and stuff ❤️

        60 replies 25 retweets 999 likes
        Show this thread
      23. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2021 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info