Jimmer Cork-Bottle

@JimmerThatisAll

From the 12 winded sky. Profile pic '72. Follow friends of the month Remembering

Corktown. Canada.
Vrijeme pridruživanja: siječanj 2012.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    But who will protect the pocket protectors?

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Your vagina is a sacred temple. Any time a man is granted access, he must leave a sacrificial offering of cash on the dresser to appease the goddesses.

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Things I've swallowed: -food - my pride -drinks -semen - the emotional lump in my throat -saliva -insects -pussy juice -probs a few stray pubes but I will not swallow your bullshit

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    My sexual orientation is people who don't overstay their welcome.

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 1 sat

    If I'm super into you, get ready for some show stopping conversation starters such as "hi" and "what are you up to?"

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 19 sati

    Oh fuck, my shoulder didn't used to make that noise. Ha ha, aging is fun

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    8. sij

    If Twitter was a horse, we'd shoot it.

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I’m wearing all black today because everyone is dead to me.

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    Applying yourself sounds exhausting.

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    [Sunday night] Is it too late for me to become a district attorney?

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    I don’t have affairs on twitter, I have friendships. Know the difference.

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    8. sij

    Whenever I feel worthless, I just remember the time former Vice President of the United States Dan Quayle misspelled potato.

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    25. sij

    Kansas City job hunting is when you hand in your favorite barbecue sauce instead of a resume.

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. sij

    drunk me is loved by all, secretly I cannot trust that fucker.

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    GUY ABOUT TO INVENT COFFEE: what if cocaine was delicious

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    Whenever I see someone type out "I know, right" instead of "IKR" I automatically assume they're skilled at calligraphy

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Last night I wrapped myself in beautiful memories and words about love and my dreams were honey and spring rain

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I was out of coffee the other morning so my husband said ‘why don’t you just have tea instead’ and next time he wanted a blow job I said ‘why don’t you have tea instead’ and maybe it caused a fight I don’t know

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I’ve rarely been accused of having resting bitch face. Resting fuck me eyes, yes. Resting bitch face, no.

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 3 sata

    *sings Get Up Stand Up to your cock

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. ruj 2019.

    men is short for disappointment

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