Jesus Christ

@Jesus_M_Christ

You know who I am. If not, google me bitches. Send fan mail to: jesus_m_christ69@yahoo.com

Joined April 2009
182 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

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  1. Jul 4

    I created 2 types of countries: the type that uses the metric system, & the type that's been to the Moon.

    404 retweets 485 likes
  2. Jun 30

    257 retweets 437 likes
  3. Jun 29

    238 retweets 263 likes
  4. Jun 28

    Put your thoughts & prayers in one hand, and shit in the other. See which hand gets warm first.

    121 retweets 182 likes
  5. Jun 22

    461 retweets 573 likes
  6. Jun 21

    The look when u have the munchies, but ur dad reminds u that u already promised to die for everyone's sins.

    101 retweets 184 likes
  7. Jun 19

    This NBA championship is dedicated to every single millionaire in San Fran who walked past a homeless person this year, & did nothing.

    503 retweets 605 likes
  8. Jun 19

    Cleveland, here comes the ring. And when you speak of me, speak well.

    145 retweets 153 likes
  9. Jun 19

    Father's Day is so fucking confusing. If you are anything like me you have no idea who to buy a gift for.

    124 retweets 214 likes
  10. Jun 12

    1,377 retweets 1,633 likes
  11. Jun 10

    I remember that time at the Last Supper when I invented the fart. Everyone was like "whoa, what the fuck Jesus."

    222 retweets 355 likes
  12. Jun 10

    Back when athletes acted like men, Gordie Howe was the manliest of them all. Welcome home, Mr. Hockey.

    152 retweets 292 likes
  13. Jun 3

    I once had a dream about beating Muhammed Ali... Today I finally got to apologize.

    221 retweets 439 likes
  14. Jesus Christ followed and
  15. May 30

    Chokelahoma City.

    1,264 retweets 794 likes
  16. Apr 23

    Their only option... Purify themselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka

    288 retweets 497 likes
  17. Apr 21

    And that's why today just went down as the radest fucking day in the history of heaven. If I wasn't here myself I wouldn't have believed it.

    89 retweets 178 likes
  18. Apr 21

    Kurt: We... are... the... champions... Lemmy: We are the champions EVERYONE: No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions of the World

    53 retweets 73 likes
  19. Apr 21

    The Lost Boys: & we mean to go on and on & on & on 🎤 EVERYONE: We are the champions - my friends & we'll keep on fighting Till the end 🎤

    46 retweets 62 likes
  20. Apr 21

    Jimi: And bad mistakes 🎤 Frank: I've made a few 🎤 Johnny: I've had my share of sand Kicked in my face 🎤 Elvis: But I've come through 🎤

    45 retweets 53 likes

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