Jenny JohnsonVerified account

@JennyJohnsonHi5

Texan, comedian, writer, former TV news producer, drunk historian, asshole and owner of two dogs. Host of the - a revolution in podcasts.

Houston, TX now in Los Angeles
jennyjohnsonhi5.com
Joined September 2009
Born May 19

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    May 2

    SAN DIEGO!!! Come spend Mother’s Day with your Mama Jenny at the May 12th!!! Get your tix now, my beautiful babies!!!

    5 replies 6 retweets 29 likes
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  2. 16 hours ago

    ATTENTION: If I ever text “Thx” to anyone it means someone other than me has my phone and is trying to wear my skin as a tube top. cc:

    4 replies 18 retweets 191 likes
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  3. Retweeted
    May 2

    SAN DIEGO!!! Come spend Mother’s Day with your Mama Jenny at the May 12th!!! Get your tix now, my beautiful babies!!!

    5 replies 6 retweets 29 likes
    Undo
  4. May 11

    If this clip of from ‘In Living Color’ doesn’t make you laugh you’re stupid and no one wants to fuck you.

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    23 replies 119 retweets 755 likes
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  5. May 11

    I wonder if crabs know just how tasty their legs are.

    18 replies 28 retweets 257 likes
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  6. May 11

    Hey Instagram. Cool it with the hiking pics. Some of us are trying to eat bagels in bed while watching 'Martin' reruns.

    9 replies 14 retweets 358 likes
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  7. May 11

    Why do bad things happen to good people? What’s next? A pay raise?

    Wish I hated anything as much as Constance Wu hates her show getting renewed
    Show this thread
    2 replies 3 retweets 79 likes
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  8. May 10

    If her parents thought she was a priority, they would’ve named her Priority. But they didn’t and that’s why she got dropped.

    0:05
    DID THIS BITCH JUST-
    Show this thread
    4 replies 12 retweets 104 likes
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  9. May 9

    What a stupid fucking way to spend one’s free time. Maybe stay home and spend time with your family instead. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Clean your house. Read a book. Exercise.

    Lakers fans are planning on holding two protests outside of Staples Center this weekend voicing their frustration with the team. (via Reddit)
    37 replies 63 retweets 725 likes
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  10. May 9

    She reacted to royal baby Archie by morphing into Samantha Jones.

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    8 replies 4 retweets 127 likes
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  11. May 9

    Ugh. I remember this one being a tearjerker. 😭😭😭😭😭

    1:32
    25 years ago today, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air aired the saddest scene ever. I'm not crying, you're crying.
    17 replies 15 retweets 223 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    May 7

    “mommy, I want to be Ali Wong for Halloween” 🤣

    2 replies 9 retweets 382 likes
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  13. May 8

    Today we found out the Royal baby’s name is Archie. Very cute. Now maybe we’ll find out what Prince Harry’s last name is.

    20 replies 6 retweets 97 likes
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  14. May 8

    If we all stay perfectly still, Meghan Markle’s dad and half sister won’t know about her giving birth. Their desperate need for attention is based on movement.

    6 replies 18 retweets 207 likes
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  15. May 8

    Sending thoughts and prayers your way, 🙏🏼

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    11 replies 76 retweets 375 likes
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  16. Retweeted
    Apr 30

    ep 55 of the i sat down w comedian . listen now on

    6 replies 7 retweets 45 likes
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  17. May 7

    Tea Pot?

    Meghan Markle and Prince Harry to choose UNUSUAL name for baby that UNIFIES the US and UK
    24 replies 8 retweets 94 likes
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  18. May 6

    For playing golf. 🤦🏼‍♀️

    President Trump awards the nation's highest civilian honor, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, to Tiger Woods
    49 replies 35 retweets 384 likes
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  19. May 6

    I’d like to offer up some baby names for Harry and Meghan: Country House, Game Of Thrones, Prince, Moon Unit, Morrissey, Simba, SPF 100, Instagram and Queen Of England (just to fuck with his Gam Gam).

    7 replies 1 retweet 116 likes
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  20. May 6

    I can’t wait to see a picture of baby Brexit Space Force!

    Meghan Markle and Prince Harry to choose UNUSUAL name for baby that UNIFIES the US and UK
    7 replies 21 retweets 199 likes
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  21. Retweeted
    May 6

    Audrina Hatton-Wright 🙌♥️

    1:12
    What an amazing, brave little girl 🙏🏻
    Show this thread
    58 replies 515 retweets 6,087 likes
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