If a child wants to explore the world, quit dividing it into boy and girl worlds. Allow children to explore without projecting gender bias onto that world. Boys CAN play with barbies without magically becoming one. Girls CAN play with action figures without magically becoming one
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Children need comfort and truth and assurances that they are ok just the way they are. Children do not need fixing. Their penises do not need to be squished and taped. They do not need little rubbery penises stuck in their underwear. Stop f***ing around with children's genitals.
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Children needs access to interesting toys and ideas. If they love princess play, by all means delve into that. Gather dragon costumes and wings and crowns and sparkly robes and swords and jewels and treasure chests and castle turrets.
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Wild thought here.... Disney doesn't own "princess". Pink cheap tulle isn't even remotely interesting. It's boring, just like gender biases are. It's boring in an eye rolling sort of way. "My little boy loves pink and sparkles. Therefore she is trans." NO! Just stop it.
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You are promoting boring Disney stereotypes. What follows is the linked thread. If you truly believe that your child's penis is so terrible that it must be hidden away, YOU, parent, are a boring and gender biased person, willing to harm a child's genitals.
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Think outside the damn box! Smash the gender stereotypes! A child's penis is a necessary part of that child's biology. He will want it later for healthy sexual and urological function. Why any parent would be ok with harming this part of their child is mind boggling.
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I have 2 grown daughters. They played with everything. We built large raceways for remote control cars. Many toys took rides, barbies, beanie babies, baby dolls, and action figures. One of those kids experienced ROGD. Her own exploration of gender bias, turned inward.
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A self denial. An identity crisis. The message is; if you are a girl who doesn't fit in, who wants to escape puberty and periods and sexualization and unwanted male attention, that you can escape womanhood by claiming manhood. It's a lie. But sure kid, shave your head,
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Buy boy underwear, and wear whatever clothing you find comfortable. You can try to escape, but no matter how much you run, you can't run away from yourself. Your Self is what you get to live with for the rest of your life. As a parent, you can provide space to be,
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Just be. Hold there. Don't push, don't rail, don't argue, just be. Holding space is one of the most challenging aspect of parenting. Cultural messages to parents are all about actions. Do this. Don't do that. Tape your child's penis. Give your child blockers. Your child WILL DIE
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BY SUICIDE if you don't act now. It's like a horrible infomercial aimed at really vulnerable parents with really vulnerable children. It would be amusing if it wasn't so harmful. How did this message become so prevalent? When did parents stop thinking for themselves?
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The hive mind at work, in a horrible ideological thought experiment about gendered brains mismatching sexed bodies. As if bodies can somehow become detached from souls. It would make an interesting sci-fi movie if it wasn't being played out in real life.
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It really is like a weird religion in this way. There's a woo-woo belief in gendered souls, threat of death, things to buy, whole groups that will embrace you and support you. Heck there's even large coffers in the background influencing ideas and policies and laws.
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There are establishments in place to tell you what is right and wrong and they will support your 'right' decisions. You can celebrate your ability to squish your child's penis correctly, and get it smaller so that your boy won't notice it so much.
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There's a whole network built up to support you. In the end, your child will never be a different sex than what they were born as. Just like my daughter eventually recognized she would never be male, even if she took large amounts of testosterone and got a mastectomy.
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She found a more difficult path. That of radical self acceptance. It's a path with many ups and downs and bumps. But her body is her own. I helped her keep that for her future that she couldn't imagine or consider, because kids cannot. I remember grappling with that as a child.
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I wanted to know and understand humanity and adulthood. I wanted to know what it felt like and offered. I wanted to know my future. I wanted to realize my dreams. No matter how much a child tries to know these things, they simply cannot. Even adults grapple with it.
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Adults get the benefit of hindsight. Kids should be allowed that also. Be your child's advocate. Give them comfort and space. Hold them in their discomfort. Hold that space. Sometimes holding and inaction is the best action of all.
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Quit messing about with a child's body and sex and genitals. It doesn't belong to you, it belongs to your child and the future adult they become. Protect it with everything you have.
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