To save the dummies the wasted effort, Bill Maher does not have a good hairline. It's awful. That's the joke. Congrats on being that stupid.
Pinned Tweet
Show this thread
Bill Maher's Hairline’s Tweets
and walked right up to me with wide eyes and shouted "YOU COULDN'T HAVE WAITED FOR ME TO GET BACK FROM BREAK TO SEE YOU DESTROY A BITCHY CUSTOMER?!". I'm still friends with that guy on xbox live even though I haven't talked to him in years.
2
Show this thread
On her way out she yelled "You're in trouble!" and I yelled back "It's my last day, stupid! You think they're gonna come to my house?" and her husband pleaded for her to leave. 10 minutes later before I closed out the only guy I liked on the video side came in 4/?
1
1
Show this thread
She demanded to know my name to report me to corporate. I pointed to my name tag with just my first name and said "read it." She demanded to know my last name and I sternly said "Lady this is my last day and there's only one <name> here now get out" and picked up the phone. 3/?
1
1
Show this thread
She interrupted me and called me rude. I said I was trying to be helpful, and she got hostile fast. I told her to leave or else I'd call the sheriff station that was literally on the same block and have her removed for trespassing. 2/?
1
1
Show this thread
On the last day, one of the last customers I dealt with was a horrid mom with a sad sack husband and terrified looking kid, who tried trading in some games and got mad at what we offered. She said she'd go to gamestop, and I told her she can do so but we match competitively. 1/?
1
Show this thread
When the wrestling gal immediately quit because she didn't become manager, I quit same day with no two weeks and never went back. I was only there to make sure she had an easy time by that point.
1
Show this thread
My old boss tried working his way up to DM but after some friend of the old one got it he hopped over to Geico and made way more. New manager was a guy who knocked up a 17 year old and kept "bragging" how his father-in-law-to-be was gonna hook him up with managing a car wash.
1
Show this thread
The only good person there was an older married gal with soft punk/emo aesthetics who treated me with nothing but kindness because I wasn't weird or gross. She said her dream was to open a wrestling academy. I have no idea where she is but I hope she did it.
1
Show this thread
One time I came in after closing the night before and my manager showed me that the used GBA shelf in the glass case had fallen in the middle of the night and accused me of leaving it that way. I denied it, and he asked if he needed to pull the tape. I said do it. He didn't.
1
Show this thread
There was a preteen named Vinny or Vince, I can't remember, who would come in every other day and ask when Shadow The Hedgehog was coming out because he had a pre-order and he really really wanted the pre-order bonus of a Shadow The Hedgehog beanie.
1
Show this thread
I worked at one for about a year and was constantly "talked to" by my manager even though I was the top seller of pre-orders by a magnitude of 5 because I "only" hit my minimum targets for the stupid MVP club that every customer knew was a scam.
Quote Tweet
1
2
Show this thread
There is a profound, generational transformation happening on LinkedIn right now:
28
878
5,031
unlock the replies you subhuman piece of shit
Quote Tweet
Unfortunately, this administration continues its ongoing campaign to mischaracterize bank fees as "junk." Look, we get it: Politics is politics. But we're urging policy makers from across the ideological spectrum to support hardworking Americans during these uncertain times.
1:26
114.3K views
1
2040: "As I stand before you, your newest congressman, I owe everything to my AI teachers. They taught me no need worry fail man fail goooood boy goooood boy! We can do anything if wanting to doing! Five times Five is Fifty Five! Please buy Gears of War 17 out today!"
"'No ethical consumption under capitalism' is just being used as an excuse to not feel responsibility and guilt when it benefits you" youre goddamn right and thats why it rocks because its both useful and correct
you can do an Orson Welles post with any line from the Prequels and it’s automatically better than 99% of the serious attempts on here
73
584
4,659
Show this thread
Disney please pay for Gene Belcher to get therapy for his untreated ADHD
Show this thread
Bob's Burgers really stopped emphasizing how broke the family is and kind of gently smoothed it into a relatable but less-realistic "ah you know you gotta stretch your money when you have kids" around the time seasons started getting made under Disney
1
Show this thread
I sincerely hope you find the help you need to cure all 3 of these things
Show this thread
Shitlib nonstop retweeting marjorie taylor green dunks and anti-trump stuff but insulting the fascists is TOO FAR
1
Show this thread
elon is gonna end up posting something like "so that's what that plug does 🤣🤣🤣" and all the worst people on earth are gonna honk and clap like trained seals
64
1,946
19.9K
Show this thread
The world simply wasn't ready for Thing Sauce
Quote Tweet
Denny's Thing Burger (2015-2015): Part of a promotional menu for "The Fantastic Four," this massive burger was topped with hash browns, cheese, bacon, an egg cooked to order, and "Thing Sauce", aka spicy mayo, on a toasted cheddar bun
2
whole website feels like a dying mall. anchor stores disappearing. kiosks full of cheap scammy crap. grimy coin operated ride for kids, long broken, bag of trash in the seat. people living in emptied out suncoast video store
The following media includes potentially sensitive content. Change settings
View
45
1,542
7,408
Show this thread
If you can't tweet, set the tweet a minute into the future and schedule.
Everyone still raging against the Joker movie in 2023 is literally more insane than the Joker in the film
1
HR Haldeman trying to describe Party Rock Anthem to an increasingly frustrated Richard Nixon:
Quote Tweet
They use "bruh" and diminutive nicknames and LMFAO and LOL and OMFG as well.
Show this thread
13
325
2,674
Curb Your Enthusiasm is Jewish Anime
1
i beg my timeline to shut the fuck up about the harry potter game. youre either buying it or you arent, who gives a fuck. are we sharing all our purchase motivations now? i almost went to kfc today but didnt when i remembered they got rid of the spicy famous bowl
Congressman Goon From An Arkham Game, you are quoted on the record as saying "whatever tony i aint afraid of no batfreak". we then have a more recent quote from you saying "it's da friggin bat! run!". would you care to explain the contradiction
10
491
2,278
I've died and changed universes again because this was always a skittles commercial in my mind
Quote Tweet
Starburst Berries and Cream (2007-circa 2017): Berry-flavored chewy candies, made with a "hint of cream", for a softer, more lush texture. Mostly remembered for the offbeat "Berries and Cream Little Lad" commercials
Show this thread
1
So Tucker Carlson has been obsessed with M&Ms for decades. Here he is in 1996 Might Magazine posing as “Offree Mugumbe” and calling up Mars Inc. to complain about color discrimination
6
23
68
So funny to obscure your face but not your voice when you're a witness on Unsolved Mysteries. I'd get busted in a fucking second.
8
3
237
