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A quick guide for dudes. http://instagram.com/p/pCoKaPJ1m1/
Oh God "@Gawker: I ate Burger King Japan's black cheeseburger-and the McDonald's one too. http://gaw.kr/Az2MrlL "
So hard to choose between the second and third frame here. They're both so good. I think the second is my favorite. pic.twitter.com/8jSytS3FXX
Get 
it to geth er @verizonwireless
Some parents sure do seem to love to tell non-parents about how they're not allowed to have a single opinion about kids.
I describe naps like I used to describe parties.
!!! "@chrisgeidner: Updated: Alaska becomes the 31st marriage equality state. http://bzfd.it/11zlicN "
Way worse than Ebola. http://instagram.com/p/uQ9hnMp1ia/
Portrait of the Artist as a Sick man (I have a cold). http://instagram.com/p/uQ8hbqp1g0/
You stop "@ElaheIzadi: STOP VOMITING https://twitter.com/SegravesNBC4/status/523181024340344833 …"
Don't care. Never gonna watch it "@VanityFair: Twin Peaks has an unusual plan to catch you up on the last 25 years http://vnty.fr/1wQtpLv "
Oh god what "@ElaheIzadi: Also, since when do buses in DC have bathrooms?"
I think people are latching onto the #Ebola thing because deep down they want something apocalyptic to happen.
Because he knows it's bullshit. "@markknoller: Ron Klain not starting right away in the Ebola job. Probably next week."
I think it's the same with gun people. They own a bunch of guns but never get to shoot anyone. But they want the chance to.
Maybe? "@PykeA: .....no? RT @crampell Is sex only for rich people? http://wapo.st/1rD3m68 "
Just bought these bomb ass shoes because I'm single and don't have kids and have tons of income. http://www.zappos.com/lacoste-observe-bst-dark-blue-orange …
Slightly bonkers that we have an "Ebola czar" now instead of an actual, honest-to-God Surgeon General of the United States.
People, the ACTUAL voting machines are malfunctioning and you're upset about an upsidedown flag on a voting guide? Get a grip
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