Jon Walker

Is it just me or are adverts getting shockingly bad? I’m not sure how the one for Piers Morgan’s new show got approved, and the no 7 one makes the woman in it seem like a serial killer.

I think Pippin can tell when I don't feel well. Her bites are a lot less hard.

Pippin had a very orange breakfast today. I gave her some orange, and she’s decided to eat only orange pellets at the moment

To whoever stuck the TERF stickers over the feminism posters near the library, you might want to look into a better sticker company. They were very easy to remove.

If I give Pippin fruit, she grabs it, scampers over to her favourite perch and chows down immediately. If I give her a vegetable (that isn't peas, pepper or chilli) she will go to it, not eat it, and just give it the dirtiest look imaginable.

Pippin has gone from dipping her pellets in her water, to making pellet soup. It's cute, but gross to clean every day.

Also, no pirate would have ears.

What nobody ever talks about is that if pirates really did have parrots on their shoulders, they'd constantly be going round like "omG who's a cute lil sausage roll? You are, baby bird! Who's my good widdle birdy?"

I knew that parrots get all hormonal and bitey before growing out of it, but I never anticipated just how drastically Pippin would change. She used to be an absolute teenage horror, but she's just the sweetest thing now.

Since she discovered it destroys me with laughter, Pippin has taken to shoving her beak in my ear and licking. I can tell it's about to happen when I hear a sinister little "Cuddle!" next to me.

...My parrot ate my housemate's cactus. (She's fine.)

Pippin said another new word today: Pretty.

Yesterday, we cut Pippin's toenails again. Afterwards she couldn't decide whether she was mad, or wanted comforting. I could see her trying to make her mind up. Comforting eventually won out.

Thinking about how wild it is that I couldn't tell you where all the keys on a keyboard are, yet I can type away no problem without even looking.

The one true pet intelligence test: Put jam on your finger. A smart pet will gently lick you. A thick one will try to eat your finger off. Eg: Conures vs chickens. Source: experience.

I was watching something funny, and couldn't help but laugh. Then Pippin starts going "HA HA HA HA HA" In the most serious voice ever, and I laugh even harder, and she gets freaked out and starts screaming. I love life with a parrot.

I've been making so many soft toys lately, but I didn't have that many colours of fur and fleece... Then I realised something. White fabric + tye dye kit = colourful fabric I've been dyeing stuff for the past 3 hours and my hands are horrifying, but I'm so happy.

Oh my god there are TWO ComicFury characters with my exact first and last names now.