The French Revolution but with mini wrist-guillotines for people who make that heart shape with their hands.
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John Doran
@JahDuran
"Vampirism; it's a fucking crime at the end of the day."
The Woolworths Lester Bangs
Co-founder and Editor of .
#AntiFascist
#MDANT
John Doran’s posts
Laughed so hard reading this I had an asthma attack and was temporarily convinced I was going to die. All for the love of Sleve McDichael.
My website The Quietus is in massive trouble but you can help.
We need 350 new subscribers to stay alive & are offering a huge discount off our top two tiers.
I explain everything here... (Please share if you're feeling it dear hearts.)
thequietus.com/articles/32853
DGAF if Nick Cave is going to the Coronation or not BUT isn't the real story the fact he was invited in the first place?
"Hey Camilla, what's that song I like? You know, 'I'll crawl over fifty good pussies just to get one fat boy's asshole'? We've got to have him there..."
There are some obits circulating referring to Scott Walker as a recluse. FWIW I found him to be warm, funny & generous on both occasions I met him. He wasn't a recluse, he had just grown tired of the music industry.
Debunking Scott Walker myths:
thequietus.com/articles/10908
Replying to
"Now then St Peter, I know I'm early - it was fucking Bobson Dugnutt who did for me."
Replying to
FFS. Went to bed. Lasted 30 seconds before laughing about Bobson Dugnutt and woke up GF. Now I have to sleep on the sofa.
What is the greatest live rock album of all time? And why is it Space Ritual?
Happy half a century to Hawkwind’s masterpiece.
thequietus.com/articles/13222
I've upped my weekly donation to to a full subscription. Whatever it gets wrong doesn't come anywhere near outweighing the disaster that will befall the media landscape in this country without it. Anyone gloating about its potential closure is a fucking simpleton.
Sleaford Mods sound heavier than Extreme Noise Terror from stage left… Amazing set.
Sure camping is really great and everything but have you ever just sat in a chair and listened to a record?
I won’t deny it... after 50+ features online it was a buzz to get my first byline in the print edition of the Guardian today. Trailed on the front page n’all.
Very sad to hear about the death of Florian Schneider. Kraftwerk are not only one of my favourite bands but they're the cornerstone of what The Quietus is about, as I laid out over a decade ago in this feature.
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From Neu! To Kraftwerk: Football, motorik & the pulse of modernity, by @JahDuran
tquiet.us/KWJD
The good people at kindly asked me to name the music that helped define the decade just gone, so I said Sunn O))) obviously. This is also an essay about heavy metal coming in from the cold. More power to
In an unlikely turn of events, my debut show for airs next Tues AM about The Myth Of Aphex Twin ft. David Toop, Vic Reeves, Leila Arab, Scanner & Ryan Wyer. Tell yer mam.
#AlbertoBalsam #LogonRockWitch #CornishAcid
I don't often do this but if you'll indulge me, here's the set list for what & I played at Wembley on Saturday with some snaps. (Oh, and I've already said how great were & I missed Self Esteem but were... 1/?
. may be culturally conservative but they’ve got the exact fucking measure of grubby bastards Primal Scream. Question the motives any rich Gen Xer still preaching rebellion and ‘rock ‘n roll’ as he slides into his decrepitude.
Absolute fair play to Sam Smith for having a go but anyone making a direct equivalence between Kansai Yamamoto and Steve from Pentonville World Of Rubber needs to check themselves for signs of concussion.
24 hours ago I told you that The Quietus was doomed, unless we attracted 350 more subscribers.
Since then 290 people have signed up. I'm overwhelmed, buoyed, extremely happy at the sheer generosity & community spirit you have all shown!
v. short 🧵
I'm not saying my eyes are deteriorating quickly but I was just shocked to see this photograph of Polly Harvey wearing a knock-off Kappa trackie top from the Tontine Market in St Helens.
The Quietus is 15 today!
I slung some words together and has detailed the insane wealth of words and music we've given away to subscribers over the last two years.
Here are some photos, including an action shot of me at the Megatron v2!
thequietus.com/articles/33366
STOP! Stop whatever it is you're doing now* and put FAUST IV on the best stereo system available to you, and play it two notches above the level you're comfortable with for this time of day.
You can thank me afterwards.
(*Doesn't apply to surgeons, bus drivers etc.)
Anyone comparing Shame, IDLES or Protomartyr to The Fall should be sentenced to hard labour.
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The Fall cast a long shadow, and you can hear their echo in IDLES, Protomartyr, Parquet Courts, Fontaines DC, Shame, Sleaford Mods, and other current groups... brooklynvegan.com/the-fall-wrote
Very pleased that the people who told me to “calm down LOL” about Mumford & Sons years ago are now obviously going to apologise in public.
I’ve never been happier to be teetotal. twitter.com/LozzaFox/statu
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Richard Madeley looking like me at my absolute best in 1992 there. He’s probably on his way to his local record shop to see if RevCo’s Do Ya Think I’m Sexy 12” has turned up yet, then on to the park for a single skinner and the crossword. Respect.
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Amazing photoset of Richard Madeley walking down the street drinking Corona today
I'm very sad to hear about the death of Andy Fletcher. Essentially he was the means of communication between Dave Gahan and Martin Gore. Depeche Mode continued to exist because of him.
I talked to him about this – or at least tried to – 13 years ago.
thequietus.com/articles/01503
So, you might be looking for something to take your mind off self-isolation. How about pouring yourself a cup of tea & reading this giant feature on THE VELVET UNDERGROUND that I finished at 6am today...
tquiet.us/VU69
I’ve just washed my hair, had a shave, put my favourite trousers on and spent 15 minutes choosing a T-shirt because I’m going to the Co-Op for a pint of milk.
I hate being combative on social media, so when I do it, you can, for what it's worth, at least take it as read I feel very strongly about it. If you work in the music industry and you're currently of the opinion that jazz/experimental/DIY programming being restricted... 1/?
Ah, can anyone see this? I've gone down to zero followers again. Cannot be arse with this.
Dropping acid in a stone circle if anyone cares to join me.
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What are you planning to do to mark Brexit day? theguardian.com/politics/2020/
Which life changing album did you buy from HMV?
For me, the first was Psychocandy by The Jesus And Mary Chain. Thank you HMV Liverpool. I went in a happy 14 year old in a Dire Straits T-shirt emblazoned with the slogan 'Money for nothing; chicks for free' and emerged...
Replying to
Fucking hell. Just read it again. Started laughing. Had a second asthma attack. I don't even have asthma.
*takes 8 sheets of A4 out of pocket* "I'd like to thank God, Jimmy The Saint, Barry The Barber, my life coach Cyril, the person who invented cheese..."
The Aphex Twin doc that & I made for has won Gold at the New York Radio Awards
reducedlistening.co.uk/new-york-radio
Alright! My Aphex Twin documentary is on the wireless in a few seconds...
You can listen here:
If I ever get over COVID, my 50s are going to be a non-stop parade of trepanation, tattoos, LSD, motorbikes, magical practice, live techno, weightlifting and salsa dancing. All the stuff I didn’t commit robustly enough to when I was younger. Bar the LSD.
Front page of the Svn.
What a cunt.
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First day of a two part interview with the finest songwriter of a generation Noel Gallagher - who remains as irreverent and irrepressible as ever on pretty much everything... #NoelGallagher more tomorrow on his new music and plans for the future.
thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/1
I'm just throwing this out there but I think if SONIC YOUTH reformed this year with the intention of recording a triple album and committed to an extensive world tour, it would, for my money, actually attenuate some of reality's current oppressive & ojectionable bullshit.
Hyped that Grimes and Elon Musk have safely delivered the new Autechre EP.
"Do I have any views on what's wrong with music journalism today? Hmmm, let me see..."
Thanks to the mighty for allowing me to hold forth for .
musicjournalisminsider.com/archive/john-d
You couldn’t pay me to watch Gn’R. Well you could obviously… it’s my job. Just about. Technically. I guess. But if you did - which you won’t obviously - I’d be duty bound to go on about what a fizzing pile of horseshit they are. Maybe it’s all connected.
Jon Anderson of Yes recalled the first time he met Vangelis on last year.
(Full interview: thequietus.com/articles/28700)
People ask me why I start every day with 20 minutes of sincere prayer, asking the great universal creator to crush the music industry even though it will ultimately lead to my own homelessness.
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And just like that @Interscope will never be the same @machinegunkelly #ticketstomydownfall
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The Quietus turns 12 today!
& I have worked hard to bring you an amazing new subscriber system to secure the future of the site. There are ace perks of bonus essays, a new podcast series and exclusive music.
Please read and RT! Thanks!
Kiss my fucking ballsack you cake-eating Worzel Gummidge cunt.
I still can't quite believe how fucking astounding False Lankum is. An immediate rejoinder to anyone thinking there isn't music coming out rn delivering brutal blows to the guts, to the heart, to the brain.
Bandcamp in 🧵
I hung out with LCD Soundsystem in an Indian restaurant before a gig in Sheffield in 2005 and James Murphy spent the entire meal quoting Brass Eye sketches verbatim to me. Several other members of the group didn’t seem to know what was happening.
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What's the most unlikely activity that you have participated in with a celebrity? Not stood next to or was in the same room as. Actually did something with.
I once played a Telly Addicts pub quiz machine with Sonya Madan from Echobelly. We won.
I think when the inevitable reveal comes that this is a marketing stunt carried out at the behest of a mega-corporation who don't pay taxes, it should be legal for us to drag the CEO from his limo and kick him to death.
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Morrissey looks like he's on his way to whack Big Pussy Malanga in Nuovo Vesuvio, Artie Bucco's restaurant.
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I'm hitting pause on repping for other ppl's mags for a sec to rep for my own.
At best is unbeatable. Evidence: this astounding essay on Wu-Tang Clan, The Fall & William Blake - the visionary march through the hidden city.
Read. Enjoy. RT.
tquiet.us/LC14Wutang
I relish these moments. The day’s work is done. The boy is tucked up in bed. Just some blissful transient time I can dedicate to my Taylor Swift records.
BACK ONCE AGAIN WITH THE RENEGADE MINISTER/ D FOR DUCHY WITH THE ILL BEHAVIOUR.
Many happy returns to The Quietus which turns 13 today. & I have devised some killer new perks for subscribers; so helping support the site has never been more enjoyable while never being less essential to our survival.
thequietus.com/articles/30438
The mask on my face is aching. The facts seem to cut me like a knife. twitter.com/ianbrown/statu
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I just checked and am sorry to report This Heat are still better than your band.
“There is no beginning and no end in music. Some people want it to end. But it goes on.”
Florian Schneider of Kraftwerk remembered by Jude Rogers
tquiet.us/FlorianRIP
In 1986, the teenage band Napalm Death wrote the 1.316 second long song 'You Suffer' as a bit of a joke. Novelist Benjamin Myers reflects on how this song has come to represent the age of anxiety we live in.
thequietus.com/articles/32682
I enjoyed writing this feature on Donna Summer's 'I Feel Love', which was published on the Guardian yesterday. For the record this is my all time number one, number one, with Tubeway Army's 'Are "Friends" Electric? a close second and 'Umbrella' third.
Exactly 12 years ago I went on holiday with my son for the first time, to Tenby; he was three months old. I wandered into a tiny, clustered, chaotic bookshop called Cofion and bought a George Orwell Penguin paperback for 50p. It dawned on me - very slowly admittedly… 1/2
My favourite film of this year is the beautiful short, John Was Trying To Contact Aliens. The subject, John Shepherd, has recorded the Quietus one of his lush interplanetary broadcasts and you can listen in to it here.
tquiet.us/JohnRadio
Kif, I have signed a two book deal with White Rabbit. Inform the men.
(With thanks to & for their serene patience in the face of epic dithering.)
Spent so long arguing with people on the internet about Killing Joke and The Cure this morning that I missed my appointment at Specsavers. And if that isn't a good snapshot of exactly where I'm at on turning 47 I don't know what is.
Fuck me. Look at this wretched pair of nimrods. What is up with all of these weed-addled, middle-aged tools shitting the bed and rolling round in it at the moment.
Can someone hack into 's account and award them Alternative National Treasure status, pls & thx.
The Great British Fuck Off.
Today, Jason Williamson of Sleaford Mods tells us his secrets for baking cakes.
tquiet.us/SMcakes
I'm always talking about game-changing albums. This one changed my life rather than music in general.
Happy 35th birthday Psychocandy by Jesus And Mary Chain.
thequietus.com/articles/07301
It's here... The Quietus Albums Of The Year 2021
tquiet.us/AOTY21
How many have you heard?
What's number one?
Are all of these real bands?
Where are pisslgrave?!
So many questions...
They’ll be holding frost fairs in Hades before I willingly listen to Van Morrison but this take down of his new LP by Petridis is hellaciously enjoyable.
I was an obsessive Daniel Johnston fan in the 90s and had a box full of cassettes by him including one emotional live recording which was about as harrowing a piece of music as I've ever heard. I liked him for his optimistic love songs though. Rest well. tquiet.us/DanielRIP
Sure, going out and doing stuff is great but have you ever actually just sat in a chair and listened to a record?
Scott Walker's gone. Feels like a punch in the stomach. What an inspirational figure.
Rest well sir.
tquiet.us/Scott
Nicky Wire is my favourite person to interview – he's razor sharp, funny AF & a lovely guy to boot – so it was an unvarnished pleasure to speak to him about Echo & The Bunnymen with Luke for this podcast, probably the best we've ever made for tQ.
tquiet.us/LCEATB
Niche thread. As some of you will know I have had, let's say, mixed feelings about my home town, St Helens over the years but I enjoy going back there these days. I'm up in Rainhill, visiting my parents but go into Sin Tellins each morning to swim at Boundary Road baths. 1/#
This is absolutely god tier stuff. My son thinks he should be on you've been framed. I think he should be on the fourth plinth.
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The guitarist from Black Midi just... well, he had quite a moment at the Mercury Prize 
1:13
"Goth was so uncool that most goths would get annoyed when labelled a goths. So asserting revolutionary credentials is an uphill battle."
The terse relationship truly original groups Killing Joke & Bauhaus have with the post punk canon
#GothWeek
thequietus.com/articles/32664
I was disturbed to see some graffiti on the wall near Greggs suggesting I am a bin-diving, sheep-fucking, bed-wetting bad wool who has never heard Marquee Moon.
I must protest strongly. I have, of course, heard Marquee Moon.
#IHaveHeardMarqueeMoon
People have been calling for Luke & I to resign from editing the Quietus all week but I think photographs leaked to the press clearly reveal it was a work meeting. I would especially draw people's attention to the fact we're both wearing workplace-appropriate headgear.
In April I said the Quietus was done for unless we got 350 new subscribers – and twice that amount of folk came to our aid.
THANK YOU. We *literally* couldn't do this without you.
The near 40% offer for full subscription ends at 11.59 GMT tonight.
thequietus.com/articles/28506
Still my beating heart... permanently. KHANATE have reformed and release a new album, To Be Cruel today.
Live shows and a full reissue programme are on the cards. I interviewed all of them about an album and a return seven years in the making.
thequietus.com/articles/32963
