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Jackscarab's profile
Jack
Jack
Jack
@Jackscarab

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Jack

@Jackscarab

Writer of Aether Torrent, teacher of Oklahoman students, Duly Appointed Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord. Will live to see the end of the Republican Party.

Oklahoma. No, really.
aethertorrent.com
Joined June 2011

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    1. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

      King of the Hill ended on May 6th, 2010. I wonder how Dale reacted to the 2010, 2012, 2014, and 2016 elections.

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
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    2. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

      For that matter, what about the Hill household? What effect would the Obama and Trump administrations have on Hank? You can't look me in the eye and make me believe that Bobby, in and after high school, is anything to the right of Clinton.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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    3. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

      I imagine Hank politely and broadly pleased with his country for electing the first black President. I also imagine he did some soul-searching worthy of a two-parter after witnessing what his Republican Party had become.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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    4. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

      2017 Hank wouldn't be that far from 2010 Hank. He is a man slow to change. He also loves his country, state, and family. I don't suspect he ever took time out of his day to think hard about Politics before Bobby came home one day with a Feel The Bern sticker on his hybrid.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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    5. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

      Khan, though? There's a whole episode to be had examining his staunch Republican leanings. Man probably had a red slogan hat -- possibly donated from Dale -- before Connie set him the hell straight.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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    6. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

      Bobby goes to college in Austin. Connie, out of state, not ivy league but respectable. Joseph? Community college, then never living or working more than 30 miles from home.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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      Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

      Bill? Incel rogue for a minute, corrupted by some army recruits who became his new best friends. Dropped it like a hot iron when they turned out to be Nazis. Got himself discharged for trying to bring them out of it by beating the hell out of their alt-right Army recruiter.

      6:53 AM - 27 Nov 2017
      • 1 Like
      • I will face God and walk backwards into Hell ಠ×ಠ
      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        1. New conversation
        2. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

          He landed on his feet, though. Still a barber. Ended up adopting the one young man out of the bunch who actually listened to him. Found it felt nice to live for somebody, and never again added to his suicide attempts.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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        3. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

          Boomhauer? Married, already has three young kids. Got around to explaining he was a Texas Ranger when like fifty of them showed up to the wedding.

          3 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        4. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

          Luann? Lucky? Both work retail, both are on food stamps. Lucky has about two hundred thousand dollars worth of Bitcoin, however, saved up for their child's education.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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        5. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

          Peggy? Back to college to be a school counselor, thinks she knows every goddamn thing. She's trying to double-major in Education and Psych.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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        6. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

          (And when I say "back to college" I mean "attending college." Somewhere local.)

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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        7. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

          John Redcorn eventually got drunk with Dale one evening and told him everything. Dale got quiet, left, spent fourteen hours on the Internet, and discovered that some cultures considered that children born of women with two husbands belonged to both men. It worked for him.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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        8. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

          Dale still openly supports Trump, hats and yard signs and all, runs a linkblog and everything, but is keeping a journal of how it's all his master plan to meet him in person and become famous by taking him out.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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        9. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

          Trump's staff eventually arranges a meeting at the state capitol as part of his 2020 reelection campaign (and yes that campaign is actually a thing going on right now). Dale assumes it's open-carry. It isn't. He's escorted out on stage, unarmed, to welcome Trump to Texas.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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        10. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

          Sweating before the cameras, with the eyes of the world upon him, with his family and country watching his moment of truth with shame in their eyes... Dale dives at the President and pulls down his pants.

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
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        11. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

          He becomes a global meme overnight. Once he's out of custody, he hastily amends his master plan and posts it for the world. It's his proudest moment. His basement lair is plastered with political cartoons about the pantsing heard 'round the world. Texas flips blue.

          2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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        12. Jack‏ @Jackscarab 27 Nov 2017

          Next day, same fence, same beers, same guys. Pregnant pause. Hank volunteers, "Always figured he was a briefs guy." "Yep." "Yeeup." "Mmm-hmm." "Yep." [The end.]

          1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
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        13. End of conversation

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