J Jonah Jameson

@JJONAHJAMESON

Publisher of the greatest newspaper on the planet!

New York
Joined July 2008

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  1. Aug 19

    MISS BRANT GET ME ONE OF THOSE MARK ZUCKERBERG HEADSETS SO I CAN YELL AT PARKER TO HIS FACE WITHOUT HAVING TO WAIT FOR HIM TO BRING HIS WET NOODLE OF A CARCASS INTO MY OFFICE.

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  2. May 17

    THEY'RE CHARGING $300 FOR A TINY PLASTIC VERSION OF THE BUGLE? I DIDN'T AUTHORIZE THIS!!!!! GET ME FRANKLIN NELSON ON THE PHONE IMMEDIATELY, MISS BRANT.

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  3. May 2

    SPIDER-MAN LOVES TOOTH DECAY ALMOST AS MUCH AS HE LOVES STEALING THE SPOTLIGHT FROM THE REAL HEROES IN THIS CITY: NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS, POLICE OFFICERS, AND FIREFIGHTERS.

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  4. May 2

    DISGUSTING. THE PACKAGE SHOULD READ "JUST FRUIT, WATER, CANE SUGAR, AND UNCHECKED MASKED VIGILANTISM — THAT'S IT."

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  5. Mar 18

    HERE I THOUGHT REED RICHARDS WAS AN EGOIST FOR CALLING HIMSELF "MISTER FANTASTIC" AND I FIND OUT THAT SOME GUY NAMED ZACK SNYDER HAS A WHOLE JUSTICE LEAGUE HE PUT HIS NAME ON?

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  6. Jan 31

    DID YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU THROW ENOUGH STAPLERS AT ENOUGH PEOPLE, A JUDGE WHO SIDES THE MOLLYCODDLING WIMPS IN THIS WORLD CAN KICK YOU OUT OF YOUR OWN NEWSPAPER FOR THREE MONTHS?

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  7. 10 Dec 2020

    PARKER! I NEED PICTURES! PICTURES OF THOSE CHIPOTLE RATS!

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  8. 9 Dec 2020

    YES, I KNOW THEY ARE MAKING ANOTHER MOVIE ABOUT SPIDER-MAN. NO, I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

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  9. 9 Nov 2020

    SO, ANYTHING HAPPEN THIS WEEKEND?

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  10. 6 Nov 2020

    YES, MISS BRANT, I KNOW I HAVE BEEN ON TWITTER A LOT TODAY. ROBBIE IS PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF YELLING AT BEN URICH AND THAT PARKER BRAT WITHOUT ME.

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  11. 6 Nov 2020

    THE LAST TIME THIS MANY WHITE PEOPLE SCREAMED TO STOP THE COUNT, DRACULA WAS FLEEING FROM AN ANGRY MOB.

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  12. 6 Nov 2020

    REED RICHARDS, GO STOP THE MOLE MAN OR HIS UNDERGROUND HORDE WILL STEAL THE LIBERTY BELL.

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  13. 6 Nov 2020

    I'M CALLING THE ELECTION. JOHNNIE WALKER BLUE IS NOW PRESIDENT. MISTER COFFEE IS VICE PRESIDENT. SPIDER-MAN IS PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE.

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  14. 6 Nov 2020

    IT WOULD BE NICE FOR PENNSYLVANIA TO BE GOOD FOR SOMETHING BESIDES PRETZELS AND THROWING BATTERIES AT BALL PLAYERS.

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  15. 5 Nov 2020

    THE LAST TIME THE NETWORKS HAD TO CUT AWAY FROM A PRESIDENT TALKING, IT WAS WHEN RICHARD NIXON TURNED OUT TO BE A PILE OF SNAKES.

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  16. 4 Nov 2020

    ALSO: I WANT TO SUE WHOEVER INVENTED POLLING. IF IT WAS AN ANCIENT GREEK OR ATLANTEAN, THAT'S FINE. WE CAN BORROW REED RICHARDS' TIME SLED OR SOMETHING.

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  17. 4 Nov 2020

    MISS BRANT, GET MY LAWYER ON THE PHONE. I WANT TO SUE THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE FOR STUPIDITY.

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  18. 9 Sep 2020

    GREAT JOB, BOB WOODWARD. JUST FREAKING STELLAR.

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  19. 27 Aug 2020

    NEVER THOUGHT I'D MISS RICHARD NIXON, BUT HERE WE ARE.

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  20. 26 Aug 2020

    MISS BRANT, YOU ACCIDENTALLY BROUGHT ME YOUR PUMPKIN SPICE WHATEVER THE HELL THIS IS. YOU'LL FIND IT SPLATTERED ON THE WINDOW BEHIND ME.

    Undo

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