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ItsUncleStephen's profile
Uncle Stephen
Uncle Stephen
Uncle Stephen
@ItsUncleStephen

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Uncle Stephen

@ItsUncleStephen

Humorist | Thread StoryTeller: #talesbytweetLight #GuidesByStevhoe 📧 Steveekeng@gmail.com

Lagos
Joined July 2010

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    1. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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      This is a story of how one babe wanted to kill me with sexual enjoyment. Brothers, stay woke.Forget forming coitus Jagaban and Igodo part 1: conqueror of the evil forest.There are some babes you'll Jam, you sef go believe. Issa Thread

      672 replies 3,685 retweets 3,361 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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      It is sad, that like my last thread, this one also begins with Progress. I was in my room, in final year, when he comes in and says we should go hangout and drink because "you know. No beer in heaven

      11 replies 211 retweets 350 likes
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    3. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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      Baba had invited a babe and she was coming with her friend (private uni babe on hols) whom he wanted me to meet, say na my spec. I agreed when he showed me the friend's picture cos the babe was confirmed doctor's prescription and Lord knows I was not feeling fine

      17 replies 294 retweets 675 likes
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    4. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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      Got to Eismann, saw the babe and Blood of Nebuchadnezzar!!!  She was even better looking in person. I became worried like what will Progress want in return? What's wrong with the babe? Is she okay? But once we got talking, I was smitten. The babe make Sen(10)se.pic.twitter.com/2iUCNxXlD7

      18 replies 194 retweets 442 likes
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    5. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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      Up next you know the usual: follow up. Calls, pings[bbm was the shit then]. We were flowing like river Niger but babe was giving me mixed signals. Today, we'll be sweet and all, next day she'll be all ' new phone who's this?' 😦 We liked each other. So kilonshele gan gan

      5 replies 170 retweets 332 likes
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    6. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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      One cool evening, we strolled to Love garden, picked one serene spot and I laid it all down. "Why don't you want me? Is it my Big head? Don't you like me? Is it another guy? Tell me" All of this i said with the best 'why are you wickeding me like this face i could musterpic.twitter.com/S6BqIgNhFY

      14 replies 208 retweets 445 likes
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    7. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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      Men as i was telling it all, babe bowed her head. You know when your talk don dey enter the white blood cells. I was deeply convinced my breakthrough was here. My miracle was on the way. That finally 🎵favour is my name🎵 She lifted her face nd looked me straight in the eye.

      5 replies 181 retweets 305 likes
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    8. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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      Men for like three minutes babe just dey look me for eye. I was afraid men. At a point, be like her eye wanted to be changing color to indigo. Ha! God abeg o! Na just small love we wan love which kind an eye for an eye staring contest be this? Next thing she said.

      8 replies 221 retweets 438 likes
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      Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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      Steve let's just be friends. You can't handle what i bring to the table. It's been a problem with other guys. Pls. My spirit man was likepic.twitter.com/T2MN0mHUiF

      8:35 AM - 28 Dec 2017
      • 264 Retweets
      • 570 Likes
      • High Budget Mayorkun🇳🇬 Nonye Okoronkwo silas k Ekpedeme HOEkage_anonymous🧛‍♂️🤫 🧔🏾 Favorite Igbo Boy💮 ¡$@@c_Jøne$🌚 EA
      23 replies 264 retweets 570 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          I had not recovered 4rm dat 1 wen she said 'For dis to work, tell me. Are you sure? Really sure You're great in bed' Hei🙆 dis babe has touched the tail of not one but two Lions. Me? A sexual Vuga. An intercoursal IGODO? Mr all Night Long? Kai see question In response,

          40 replies 326 retweets 683 likes
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        3. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          I held her gaze for like 7mins instead of d 3mins she did. B4 speaking, i ensured my eye had changed to red [ her fada! All of us sabi form look]pic.twitter.com/hCJADA2flB

          14 replies 252 retweets 597 likes
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        4. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          Then I said something romantic, along the lines of I wanted her more than her body. Blah blah.yada yada But in my realest of real mind. I'm like U! Iwo! Ah! You wee see cameroon pepper. You wee smeh ya yanshpic.twitter.com/YarDQNU9gS

          9 replies 245 retweets 575 likes
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        5. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          We kissed Relationship started. I had tried to form let's not rush things so it won't look like the sex was what i was after. But sis showed up at my house one weather for 2 day like Destiny can be delayed not denied. Enough of this waiting.pic.twitter.com/yD9FJeq11o

          3 replies 205 retweets 384 likes
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        6. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          From kissing then came Bolaji aka B.J. she worked her black magic repete making me shed a tear like a child whose caprisonne they collected I too returned the favor and ate a full plate of Isiewu. Amem somebody? Emem Then it Began.pic.twitter.com/CxQpMl7UfR

          45 replies 302 retweets 708 likes
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        7. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          I knew there was problem wen smtin we started at 10, by 4am, afta i had cum abi arrived almost 3ce, i realised madam had not even left her bustop yet. To make matters worse, tired as I was, small touch here nd there she did, it rose again. Homaigot! What a betrayal penispic.twitter.com/a8Y7pguOop

          26 replies 361 retweets 833 likes
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        8. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          I was dying But babe kept riding me kpacha kpacha kpacha like those old ladies bicycle. To worsen things. Morning no gree reach. My village people ensured we had longer 9t shorter day, cos after wat seemed like 10hours of riding it was just 5.22 Kee me plixpic.twitter.com/8S0GM7XwHw

          7 replies 248 retweets 506 likes
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        9. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          Later when we switched positions, Aunty was shouting. I'm cumming, I'm coming 4 u baby' Meanwhile me In my mind I'm like aunty I'm Going o. Going going gone too soon I could my headstone clearly Here lies a man who died on Top[ nd world people will think i died a great man]

          28 replies 303 retweets 582 likes
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        10. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          Eventually somewhere close to 6am. We slept. More like she slept. While me I slept like Hei Gawd! I don leave dog go let the lion out. Correct simba and scar.pic.twitter.com/P004AH2mOO

          7 replies 186 retweets 325 likes
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        11. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          7am hand don begin touch me. Her mouth heading 4 my nether region to christen me Bolaji again. FUNKE! I shouted. And dis my people was my life 4 the next month. Day and 9t. I go lecture come back; sex Our eyes jam; We mekwe She hear se. B4 you complete it as seconds; mekwepic.twitter.com/vlOFCfvOnQ

          13 replies 216 retweets 373 likes
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        12. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          We go downstairs go buy something.when we return we congratulate ourself with sex. We dey wait for water for tea to boil. We wait with sex. Babe had excess energy,drive,zeal,passion and ambition for sex like who drink Alomo plus monkey tail, the shoulder, heart and kidney.pic.twitter.com/qgXE9nKgBu

          13 replies 273 retweets 541 likes
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        13. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          Omo i was slimming down. People will see me like, man this your final yr project is taking its toll on you oh. At a point i was even praying to see my period.maybe madam will free me I'm like lawd pls. Let this bucket/Drum pass over me. I'm someone's shild for gossakes.pic.twitter.com/wPvKuzTVrY

          41 replies 506 retweets 1,043 likes
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        14. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          Babe even came 1 day like boo let's spice things up. Let's take weed. I'm like see your patience ozokwor village aunty face. Ogun! Of spice kee you dia! Ordinary feels lyk who took Spanish fly. Now u wnt 2 add weed nd unleash d full spanish animal kingdom ba?pic.twitter.com/0pJjO0b2YT

          8 replies 215 retweets 411 likes
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        15. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          Wen I knew dis nonsense mst stop was wen we went 2 fellowship nd topic was fornication.Babe looked so remorseful My shock wen we got back nd babe was like boo, kitty's back needs scratching. Ahn! ahn! the word neva scratch kitty reach? Kitty wen just come from church?pic.twitter.com/0nnxPowrl2

          5 replies 249 retweets 509 likes
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        16. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          Afta a month and of everyday sex babe was finally leaving for school in a week My spirit man shouted a victorious cha cha cha igbo kwenu But before she left, She wanted to do it everywhere nd way.People style, doggy style nd believe me tortoise get style; she showed me

          9 replies 223 retweets 475 likes
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        17. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          Man! when she left for school, after a while, had to hit her with the it's not you it's me line.Even Jaguda get Oga. I cannot cum and go and kee myself. Also called Progress like guy 4 your full life no ever say you see my spec again. Tueh! Animal! If you ever try am eh 👇pic.twitter.com/Wu7PoGKcor

          17 replies 210 retweets 419 likes
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        18. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 28 Dec 2017
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          The End. Thanks for reading. If you loved this RT and share. Find more humor threads in my favs and pinned tweet. More stories coming! Go to my profile and turn on Notifications. Compliments of the season, With Love Uncle Stephen.

          129 replies 351 retweets 707 likes
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        19. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 29 Dec 2017
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          Uncle Stephen Retweeted Uncle Stephen

          And oh! You can find my other hilarious thread herehttps://twitter.com/ItsUncleStephen/status/945717769005420544 …

          Uncle Stephen added,

          Uncle Stephen @ItsUncleStephen
          As a New year approaches, I remember when I, @UchennaNG and another friend, nearly died on my Birthday, because we went to a party and rocked some Cultist's babe in another school. A Thread.
          Show this thread
          8 replies 40 retweets 78 likes
          Show this thread
        20. Uncle Stephen‏ @ItsUncleStephen 30 Dec 2017
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          Uncle Stephen Retweeted Uncle Stephen

          And Another one herehttps://twitter.com/ItsUncleStephen/status/947171433205194753 …

          Uncle Stephen added,

          0:06
          Uncle Stephen @ItsUncleStephen
          Brethren. You see some quiet babes ehn, fear them. If they bring out their 50shades of ROYGBIV and show you their inner Christian,Muslim,Hindu and Sango Grey, you sef go fear. In my younger days, I met one. Iss Another Thread o Enjoy! pic.twitter.com/St4WCH8CEP
          Show this thread
          4 replies 15 retweets 32 likes
          Show this thread
        21. End of conversation

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