Peter Mor*n (tweet daddy)

@Impetermoran

Unabashedly pursuing fame. Comic, words featured on ,, , tweets on , DM for booking.

Manhattan, NY
Vrijeme pridruživanja: studeni 2011.
Rođen/a 18. srpnja

Tweetovi

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    Crazy how Jeff Bezos could’ve ended world hunger but instead he chose to cheat on his wife, which cost even more

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  2. Poništi
  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Instead of telling people I used to be homeschooled I just said I was under house arrest because it sounds harder and is also a more accurate depiction

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  4. Really proud to announce my upcoming Netflix special!!!

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  5. What if a bunch of small trench coats wore a big trench coat to look like an adult trench coat?

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  6. Instead of telling people I used to be homeschooled I just said I was under house arrest because it sounds harder and is also a more accurate depiction

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  7. 5. velj

    My tweets are endorsements of myself

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    4. velj

    “Can we just not talk politics for once?” -Me, moderating the debate

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  9. 4. velj

    People always comfort nerds in high school by telling them that they’ll be the bullies’ bosses someday. So bullying them is a sure fire way to always have a job. Giving wedgies isn’t even mean, it’s just good networking

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  10. 4. velj

    People tell me I dress like a douchebag, but at least I’m not a poser

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  11. 4. velj

    “Can we just not talk politics for once?” -Me, moderating the debate

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  12. 4. velj

    People hate their jobs so much that even recruiters open with “looking forward to the weekend!” Their whole job is to get people to work and they’re like “hey! Don’t you hate work!”

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    4. velj

    Leaving work is really just looking at your phone with slightly less guilt and more comfortable clothes

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  14. 4. velj

    Leaving work is really just looking at your phone with slightly less guilt and more comfortable clothes

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  15. 3. velj

    I mean how am I not famous

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  16. 3. velj

    Excited for game 2 of the super bowl series, should be some good adjustments!

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    3. velj

    I finally reached my Olsen twin goal weight - it’s combined twins but goals are goals.

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  18. 3. velj

    Follow to get her to 1k or I’ll come to your house and take a single bite out of all your fruits and vegetables

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    this dude is super funny

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  20. 3. velj

    Too busy with standup to call my parents so I’ll have to just have them on as podcast guests

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  21. 3. velj

    The weirdest thing about marriage story is that Adam DRIVER wanted to stay in NYC where no one DRIVES

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