ImaPaleoVegan

@ImaPaleoVegan

The power went out, and I was trapped on an escalator for 5 hours.

Cinco Ranch, TX
lp.org
Joined August 2008
288 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. 9 hours ago

    I’m thankful to have a wife that catcalls me daily

    Undo
  2. Retweeted
    Aug 3

    Whenever this guy takes his boat out, the goose he rescued years ago flies right next to him — and she just gave him a gosling grandson 😍

    Goose Visits Guy Who Rescued Her Every Day
    426 replies . 13,794 retweets 33,125 likes
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  3. Aug 2

    My son just said "Hold your horses... not that you have any." Smart ass...

    2 likes
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  4. Jul 20

    I got hammered with Allegra Budenmayer two years ago. She could not handle her beverage.

    Undo
  5. Jul 20

    This movie should be banned

    1 like
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  6. Jul 18

    Waiting for to tell me how much free advertising Montenegro is getting

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  7. Retweeted
    Jul 17

    Man walks over a dozen miles to first day of work, CEO gifts him car as thanks

    5 replies . 25 retweets 111 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    Jul 15

    Croatia right now... 🙌🏻🥇

    3,137 replies . 102,746 retweets 289,426 likes
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  9. Jul 14

    It took 8 yrs for Michelle’s programs to burn as many calories as Trump has in 1.5

    Thousands of Scots take to streets as Trump plays golf
    2 likes
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  10. Jul 13

    Evil employers who seek minimum requirements, offer full benefits, and pay what they think can fill the position.

    “Why aren’t millennials buying houses?” “Why don’t millennials save money?” “Lazy millennials are ruining this economy”
    Show this thread
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  11. Jul 12

    You have some really really low standards of degeneracy

    Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, has been served by 13 Prime Ministers. The first was Winston Churchill. Imagine her revulsion and sadness when her dignity is assaulted by the presence of an American President who represents a spectacular degeneracy of the virtues she embodies.
    1 like
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  12. Jul 11

    Wait... Capitalism is a cancer but “buy my naked photos for $10”?

    “billionaire” SHOULD be a slur, as it’s a fucking shameful thing to be. vast wealth is immoral, and capitalism is a cancer on society. nobody should have things they want while anybody goes without things they need. ESPECIALLY if what they want is to send a car into space.
    1 like
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  13. Jul 10

    So... um... a tax cut is not inventing money. It’s actually the ultimate acknowledgment that money exists.

    New Rule: anyone that was cool with the GOP inventing $2 trillion out of thin air for freebies for people with yachts that have tiny yachts inside doesn’t get to demand how we pay for people who need chemotherapy treatments.
    1 like
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  14. Jul 7

    When they remade Willy Wonka

    What will be our rock bottom as a nation?
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  15. Retweeted
    Jul 7

    2-0! COME ON ENGLAND! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

    232 replies . 5,682 retweets 14,287 likes
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  16. Retweeted
    Jul 7

    1-0!!!!!!! !!!!! ITS COMING HOME

    20 replies . 455 retweets 1,144 likes
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  17. Retweeted
    Jul 4

    Apology of the year. 👋👋

    531 replies . 5,574 retweets 18,982 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    It’s coming home!! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

    374 replies . 10,457 retweets 35,423 likes
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  19. Retweeted
    Jul 1

    When Sweden is playing Denmark, the abbreviation is SWE-DEN. The remaining letters, not used, spell DEN-MARK

    Tell me something I don't know....
    Show this thread
    520 replies . 49,973 retweets 160,423 likes
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  20. Retweeted
    Jun 30

    Don’t cry 4-3 Argentina

    1,963 replies . 21,125 retweets 72,649 likes
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