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My mum didn't question or challenge me because she didn't want to lose me. The gender clinic had no such pressure. It was their job to question and challenge me – to evaluate my (clearly) poor mental health and treat me accordingly. Instead, they handed me HRT and surgery. 5/8
I'll never forget my mums face when I showed her the result of my double mastectomy. She physically recoiled, but then pulled herself together to support me. But I'll never forget the horror in her face when she saw her physically healthy daughters bloody, bandaged chest. 6/8
Today, my wonderful mum is still by my side, and has been equally supportive of my detransition. But I'll never forget the pain I put her through, the expectations I had – that she forget her beloved daughter and welcome her new son without question. 7/8
The parents of trans people receive so little support or compassion. It is not transphobic for you to grieve, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I used to say “I'm still me!” but I wasn't. Transition changes you, and your loved ones will be the first to notice that. 8/8
Sending love to you and your mum.
What a sad and mature and sweet thread. I am so happy for you and your mother that you have such a good relationship, and also 
at what you have BOTH been through.
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