I really wish I knew what gender dysphoria was and why some people, including myself, have it. It's difficult to describe, and has changed in some ways over the many years since it manifested, but what I know for certain is that it hurts. It really fucking hurts. 1/x
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Even after the progress I've made - and I'm proud of how far I've come - I still find myself laying awake at 3am, overwhelmed by the thought I was born wrong, I should be male etc I can't explain the times I'm so disgusted by my sex that I need to drink myself blind to cope 2/x
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Replying to @ImWatson91
What's disgusting, is it the look and feel of your "bits" or the way people of your sex are supposed to behave in the world?
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Replying to @TomBoyOptional
Some of the latter, mostly the former. It's an amalgamation of a lot of different issues, I feel.
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Replying to @ImWatson91
Re the "bits" - is this about how you perceive them or how you feel other people react to / perceive them? Anything about comparison with other people's, even back in childhood?
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The dysphoria appeared about a year or so before I became sexually active, so it wasn't how other people perceived me back then. I think its in my mind, for whatever reason, and I was told transition would ease that feeling in my mind. It didn't, it made it worse.
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