Watson

For my part, my dysphoria is rooted in childhood trauma which has been/is being addressed by means of psychotherapy. (2/)

Some people will dismiss dysphoria as a vague sense of "feeling like the other sex" which may in some respects be true, but is also in many ways a gross oversimplification. (3/)

I can really only describe it in terms of concrete examples: for example, my almost complete inability to bond with or relate to men. In a group of men, I feel completely out of place, like I'm the only girl in the group. (4/)

Or the fact that when I look at myself in a mirror, there's this deeply unpleasant sense that I'm staring awkwardly at someone of the opposite sex. (5/)

I'll pass on discussing the specifics of my anatomy, but it's safe to say that I look at it, and I feel like I'm leering at myself, and it makes me uncomfortable, like a man has undressed himself in an unsolicited fashion in front of me. (6/)

It's not entirely accurate to say I have no compulsion to transition; I resist the compulsion for the sake of my wife, soon-to-be two daughters, for simple financial and health reasons, and acknowledging the limits & risks of transition surgery and HRT. (7/)

But the compulsion is still everpresent. I do little things that sound silly but they make a world of difference. For example, I shave my arms and legs so that they don't feel quite as masculine. I'm growing my hair out so I can wear it in a feminine style at home. (8/)

I know this is all stuff that is really more to do with gender stereotypes as a social construct, but for me it's like painting a picture of sunlit uplands on the wall of a windowless prison and pretending it's a window. (9/)