I wasn't going to tweet about this but I've had a few beers, so fuck it I spent Christmas at my sisters. My sister, in a good-natured attempt to make me feel less self-conscious (I haven't felt self-conscious for months, but she's sceptical) insisted we "girl up" for dinner 1/x
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At the beginning of my detransition when I was hyper self-conscious, sure. But I'm good, I've embraced my female masculinity Make-up & dresses are fine if that's your thing but women shouldn't feel like they have to look like that. When you're detrans, it can feel necessary 3/x
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So Christmas dinner ends, it's time to go home. "Oh shit," I think. My boyfriend's going to see me like this. What if he expects this all the time now? I don't want to be feminine from now on, that's not me. What if he thinks I'm ugly without all this now? How'd he react? 4/x
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He was so complimentary, but could tell I just wanted to wash off the make-up and get into my jeans and hoody. He knows that's not me. I asked him "do you wish I looked like this more?" And he said "if any of this mattered, would I have fallen for you as you normally are?" 5/x
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So, I washed off the make-up, revealing my stubble. I took off the dress, revealing my double mastectomy scars. I took off the hair clip, revealing my thinning hair and baldy bit. And you know what? 6/x
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I felt good. I felt good because that's who I am, and that's who my boyfriend fell in love with. He hugged me and told me I was beautiful and that I didn't need any of that stuff, no make-up or dresses or wigs, so I shouldn't feel pressured to put them on. 7/x
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And that was that. We still get mistaken as a gay couple now and again, but we laugh about it. I think learning to be yourself, but also learning to laugh at yourself and not take life too seriously, always worrying etc, is the most important lesson I've ever learned 8/8
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End of conversation
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No you don't. Just more proof that performative gender stereotypes are the supposed key to people's identities. Regressive and dumb. I like girls, I have tats and piercings, I wear black band t-shirts and I lift. I'm still a woman.
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You've never stopped being a woman. You're perfect the way you are
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