"Fuck it," I thought. "Go ahead." So she put make up on me and did my hair and gave me a dress. I acted elated because I knew how much it meant to her, to have her wee sister back to do these things with But honesty, I don't need any of that stuff to feel like a woman again 2/x
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At the beginning of my detransition when I was hyper self-conscious, sure. But I'm good, I've embraced my female masculinity Make-up & dresses are fine if that's your thing but women shouldn't feel like they have to look like that. When you're detrans, it can feel necessary 3/x
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So Christmas dinner ends, it's time to go home. "Oh shit," I think. My boyfriend's going to see me like this. What if he expects this all the time now? I don't want to be feminine from now on, that's not me. What if he thinks I'm ugly without all this now? How'd he react? 4/x
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He was so complimentary, but could tell I just wanted to wash off the make-up and get into my jeans and hoody. He knows that's not me. I asked him "do you wish I looked like this more?" And he said "if any of this mattered, would I have fallen for you as you normally are?" 5/x
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So, I washed off the make-up, revealing my stubble. I took off the dress, revealing my double mastectomy scars. I took off the hair clip, revealing my thinning hair and baldy bit. And you know what? 6/x
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I felt good. I felt good because that's who I am, and that's who my boyfriend fell in love with. He hugged me and told me I was beautiful and that I didn't need any of that stuff, no make-up or dresses or wigs, so I shouldn't feel pressured to put them on. 7/x
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And that was that. We still get mistaken as a gay couple now and again, but we laugh about it. I think learning to be yourself, but also learning to laugh at yourself and not take life too seriously, always worrying etc, is the most important lesson I've ever learned 8/8
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Ahhh you have a fab boyfriend! And an equally well intentioned sister by the sound of it
FYI I only got dressed for Xmas dinner so we could take photos... it was a jumper and jeans. It was all I had the energy for this year! -
I do! I love them both so much and need to appreciate what I have so much more. But yes, jumper and jeans (and PJs) is thee Christmas uniform.
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You’re back! I haven’t seen you on my timeline in ages- I’m so glad your doing well

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I took a several month long social media break, but yes I'm back :) and I have a lot to say
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