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I just realized that I've been off T for 9 months now. How time flies. In the beginning, I overcompensated; wore make-up, women's clothes, tried voice feminizing exercises etc. I even bought a fucking wig lmao. I felt like I had to try to pass as my own sex. How weird is that?
Today, I don't bother. None of that's me. My fear had been I'd never pass as a woman again. I still get called sir, was called it just yesterday. But you know what? That's okay. Who was I trying to impress? Certainly not myself; I hated feminizing myself. So why bother, then?
I don't know. All I know is, I'm just doing whatever makes me comfortable these days, and if that means being 'sir'd' now and again, that's fine. I'm a masculine woman, and that's fine. At least I'm an honest masculine woman.
My dysphoria's a lot easier to manage. The first months of detransition were hard - I was tempted to restart T at times, but I'm glad I didn't. I'm happy to be living my life honestly & that I don't need to plunge a needle into my leg every 3 weeks just to feel good about myself.
Weird, and shatteringly understandable. Jeez, you’ve been on adventure... maybe misadventure is more accurate. Either way you’ve learned stuff in a specific way that few people do. You’re in a position to help because of all you’ve been through. X
There’s great comfort in recognizing that growth in simply the act of going off T
I still have days when I resent my biological reality, but it's happening less and less. One day, I hope to be rid of my dysphoria entirely. Detransitioning was the first step towards that goal. One day at a time :)
Feminizing exercises?
Voice feminizing exercises. Most trans women practice them too, in an effort to sound less manly.
More power to you!!
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