for clarity: she had initially supported transitioning?
I love my mum and I know she loves me but we don't discuss my detransition. I think it's hard for her because she didn't object when she knew transition wasn't for me. Today she visited unannounced to gift me a plant. Her way of checking in without asking difficult questions.
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In her mind she knew I was making a mistake but she supported my decision with words to the effect of "do what you have to do."
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At least you still have a relationship. Hugs.
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This is an aspect that doesn't get talked about much... the very real consequences on parent/child/young adult relationships and how transition can be a wedge or cause parents to feel they must/should support even if they have misgivings Tough choices and no easy answers
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A lot of parents with ROGD kids have told me they were too afraid to question them for fear of being pushed away. Ideally, it should be the doctor's doing the questioning, but they're affirmation mad. A lot of regret will be seen as a consequence.
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At that time, she probably felt damned if she did and damned if she didn't. She chose to show you she would love you no matter what you decided. Me? I'm the opposite. I'd have fought you tooth and nail and prob locked you up to stop you if I thought I could mange it.
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She wanted what was best for me, she'd watched me break down multiple times. When I told her I KNEW transition would finally fix me, I think she wanted to believe it because she wanted me to be happy. Deep down she knew I was wrong, but she thought it'd be kinder to support me.
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There are, unfortunately, no real guidebooks one can trust to be correct.
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As a mom, it's hard to know when the hard questions are welcome or divisive. Even the transition for teens to young adults can be hard to navigate, and parents' input is often conterproductive. I hope your relationship with your mother continues to grow and evolve in loving ways.
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As long as it was not a triffid.
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