When I made the decision to detransition in October, one reaction I wasn’t expecting from loved ones was tears. To the families and friends out there who currently have transitioning loved ones, I’d like to say a few things. 1/9
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Using her new trans name felt like a stab in my heart, like I was forced to participate in the murder of my daughter. When after 4 yrs she finally returned to being a woman & using her birth name I felt such joy. Yes, I sobbed. They have no idea of the pain it causes.
So happy to hear you now have your daughter back. The pain families go through should be discussed more - considering the massive rise in referrals, there must be so many loved ones struggling in silence out there.
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Thank you & you are so right.
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Instead, we are told to stuff our pain, that if we express anything other than complete endorsement of trans identity we are hateful phobic bigots.
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What would it have been like for you if they had expressed their pain when you decided to transition?
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I think I'd have asked them why it hurt them so much. If they'd told me they thought I was making a mistake, it’s possible I'd have lashed out at them. I was absolutely convinced I had to transition, to get better, and I was hellbent in doing so. It’s a very selfish mindset.
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Unfortunately, we keep getting shamed that "it's not all about you, in fact it's not about you at all". Our pain is leveraged against us. Intimating we have some narcisistic need to make it about us is a truly damaging narrative. So much of trans culture is utterly toxic.
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