I look at photos of myself pre-transition and see a perfectly normal, healthy girl. I don’t know why I felt so repulsive back then. Was it dysphoria or just extreme insecurity? Both? Neither? I don’t know. The doctors agreed it was dysphoria. Now I’ll never look like that again.
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I'm so sorry you feel that way. Lots of us look back and wonder why we thought we were so ugly at the time. I know that for most of us this is nowhere near the level that you have experienced though. Youth really is wasted on the young sometimes, right?
