I look at photos of myself pre-transition and see a perfectly normal, healthy girl. I don’t know why I felt so repulsive back then. Was it dysphoria or just extreme insecurity? Both? Neither? I don’t know. The doctors agreed it was dysphoria. Now I’ll never look like that again.
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And to be realistic, everyone grows and changes as they age. Don’t forget that part. xo
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I understand. Just don’t go down that dead-end road of, “If only I hadn’t done XYZ.” Because if you hadn’t done XYZ, you would have done ABC, or PDQ, heading down some other road. And who knows what would have happened there? There are way too many variables at play. xo
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I have a scar from my throat to between my breasts where the cracked me open like an oyster for surgery, and on my arm and leg - numbness too. Few of us get through life unscathed. The trans community places too high a value on appearances. Your scars tell the story of you.
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And everything, even the hair loss, shifts and changes with time. You can't know for sure how you will look or feel in ten years or even tomorrow. Love the life you have right now. It's going to be okay.
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