Based on today, 5yo is more emotionally mature than I am.
“Can we leave now? I need a break from all this fun”
“5 more minutes in the bath please; I need relaxation time (segues into yogic breathing)”
“Does work make you happy? Is that why you’re always doing it? I hope so!”
Michael B. Tager
@IamRageSparkle
Michael B. Tager’s Tweets
Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever cleaned and organized your workspace to a point where you can breathe again?
3
22
Ok this wins the 2023 “snarkiest headline” award.
Quote Tweet
‘Home Alone 2: Lost In New York’ star Donald Trump has been indicted for a second time.
3
12
Pat Robertson died, which is a shame because I didn’t have my dance of joy choreographed. That’s ok, I did a little
Improv soft-shoe.
20
It’s always fun to break it to folks—who’ve only seen the edited-to-heck TV version—that like 40% of Dirty Dancing is about (and firmly pro-) abortion.
1
11
Aside from Frank Langella as Skeletor, obviously.
GIF
read image description
ALT
2
3
Show this thread
Whenever I watch the original Star Wars and Alec Guinness comes on screen, I think, “this is the most overqualified actor in a movie in the history of cinema.”
3
5
Show this thread
4
5
21
On Friday, June 9th, I'm appearing with E Kerr () at Harvard Bookstore in Cambridge! We'll be talking about his poetry and work, including his book, trans [re]incarnation (). Shout out to for introducing me to E! harvard.com/events/2023/06
4
8
Huh. I just lost like 200 - 300 followers. That's a lot of followers. It it possible that I'm being dragged just outside my social-media vision? Sure. Is it more likely that it's a Twitter is terrible, or a purge of the pots, thing?
Yes.
13
I'm not saying friendship should be easy but friendships shouldn't be hard, either. Like everything worthwhile, friendships take work and when that works gets to be too much, it's fine--healthy even--to quit.
2
19
When was the last time you said something you knew you’d regret for the rest of your life?
1
1
Omg. I’m in the line for the pharmacy and homegirl behind me just started talking about all the condom choices. “Look at all the flavors! All the sizes! What do you think?”
1
8
Show this thread
Not for the first time, I find myself thinking "man, I need some cute stationery." I write too many thank you notes for various stuff to not have some puppies or unicorns on nice card stock!
1
7
Ok, so that's 7 (seven!) AWP panels I either helped with or submitted myself. If none of them go through--totally possible--I'll just bang my head against a tree until I bleed. No biggie.
1
5
Hi! What are some poetry contests? Not ones with publication, but ones that say “yours is the best”?
1
2
I used to go to the pizza place downtown where the staff sang. It was a hoot, the pizza was good, & everyone seemed happy. One kid my age was really good & I often forget I that that kid was Sisqo.
1
8
I'm officially tired of my playlists & it's time to get some recommendations. Anyone want to shoot some new(ish) songs or artists my way? I'm in a gentle-but-dancey mood. Some favorites in this vein:
Bjork
Prince
Pink Floyd
BlackPink
The Shins
Pat Benatar
Pixies
Cardi B
34
14
Today published a chapter from Burn It Down: It’s a deep dive into what went wrong behind the scenes at #Lost. A number of people had a very, very difficult time while working on the drama & finally felt they could tell their stories.
167
2,018
4,783
Show this thread
For dinner, I had two Klondike Bars and I’m not even a little bit sorry.
2
10
The absolute worst part of having kids is every so often thinking “here are these amazing people that I love more than anything and someday they will die.” To put it mildly, it’s an existential bummer.
1
9
5. Waiting Room - Fugazi
4. Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've?) - Buzzcocks
3. Violet - Hole
2. Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones
1. The Brews - NOFX
*please note that I have zero interest if you think something on this list is not-punk. Make your own list.
2
Show this thread
10. Skulls - Misfits
9. Rebel Girls - Bikini Kill
8. Jennifer Lost the War - Offspring
7. Nazi Punks Fuck Off - Dead Kennedys
6. Pay to Cum - Bad Brains
1
1
Show this thread
15. Minor Threat - Minor Threat
14. Look What Happened - Less Than Jake
13. I Will Deny - Dwarves
12. Do What You Want - Bad Religion
11. I Fought the Law - The Clash
1
1
Show this thread
For no reason, my top 20 favorite punk* or (punk-adjacent) songs. Feel free to share your own!
20. Swamp Pussy - Babes in Toyland
19. Been a Son - Nirvana
18. Sabotage - Beastie Boys
17. Fuck Authority - Pennywise
16. Rise Above - Black Flag
1
5
Show this thread
tl;dr TAKE THE TWO WEEKS and know you're the literally only essential part of this entire equation.
Be brave and be clear about your expectations and never let an agent fuck with your dignity because capitalism will be doing that anyway.
7
18
429
Show this thread
So I left Twitter and I'm back, but I've lost all my Twitter peeps. 🙁 Now, it's just as interesting as Facebook. Thinking of leaving soc med altogether.
40
13
114
I feel like I have a coffee date with someone today but I couldn't tell you who, or where, or even if it's for sure. Sorry in advance if I've bricked it.
4
It’s not the first person on the dance floor that makes everyone join the fun. It’s the SECOND. One person is vulnerable. Two provides cover.
So remember, if you want to get the party started, join that brave little toaster shaking it all by themself, and the rest will come
14
5yo is downstairs playing the OG Super Mario Bros while I’m feeding Infant upstairs. I just heard him yell I did it! I made it the whole way!
The feeling of triumph I receive when my kid has a little accomplishment dwarfs the joy I feel at my own huge wins.
11
Lol. I cut my teeth hanging with nothing but punks and hippies. Like, no one really wants this answer.
4
I rewatched the OG Parent Trap & wondered, not for the 1st time, about the whistle song early in the film. I looked it up & (today I learned) that it’s an homage to The Bridge on the River Kwai, a joke that musta slayed in ‘61, but I missed for decades.
5yo: when the sun dies, where does its heat go?
Me: well, uh, the 1st law of Thermodyna-
5yo: is that when energy is changed, not destroyed?
Me: yup
5yo: So the energy will be in space?
Me: I think so
5yo: & after the next big bang it’ll make new suns?
Me: hopefully
5yo: cool!
8
If your favorite Disney villain is anyone besides Ursula from the Little Mermaid, I’m sorry but you’re wrong.
GIF
read image description
ALT
3
4
24
Went to the store to get ice cream, eggs and “a couple other things.”
Did I buy the eggs? No.
Did I bring home the ice cream? No.
Other things? Sigh: handled.
7
This might seem extra, but there's some research that incorporating physical health early on (without being a tyrant) has a lot of positive impacts and, importantly, is sustainable as they age!
2
9
Show this thread
6) Jumping Jacks and/or push-ups: He gets to pick if he jumps some jacks or pushes some ups, or both. I can't do jumping jacks bc of my back, so sometimes he does pushups because he wants to do it with me. Other times he does the jumping. I'm happy either way.
1
7
Show this thread





