Aliens About Humans

@HumansExplained

A helpline for undercover aliens struggling to understand humans. DM human phenomena or signs you want explained.

Luna, Solar System
Vrijeme pridruživanja: svibanj 2018.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    Humans often describe acts of torture and genocide as “inhuman”, as if any other species had ever been spotted building torture chambers and extermination camps.

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    Humans appear to think that repeating the same argument in a louder tone will make it more credible.

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  3. 4. velj

    You can assess the genuine character of human nature by calculating the share of top-selling video games where the challenge is to be nice to each other and drive responsibly under difficult circumstances.

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  4. 4. velj
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  5. 3. velj

    Damn! Missed this one...

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  6. 3. velj

    Well, at least peeing on dolphins seems to be allowed.

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  7. 3. velj

    If the purpose of your travel to Earth is leisure - don’t land in Belarus.

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  8. 3. velj

    The term “inhumane” here refers to the conclusions from our extensive research of terrestrial fauna, where humans clearly stand out among other Earth mammals for their striking natural inability to monetise and manipulate the misery of others.

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    If it gives humans cancer, how is it not environmentally friendly?

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  10. 1. velj

    Aim at genitals when slingshotting babies?

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Sometimes humans abduct each other and blame it on us.

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  12. 30. sij

    Stay inside your saucer to avoid being detected?

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  13. 30. sij

    Love is a common human excuse for contaminating Earth with more humans.

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  14. 29. sij

    Humans appear to be more concerned about misfortunes that happen rarely than equally impactful ones that occur every day. Thus, they can be more torn up about a football team losing a game than about having spent another day killing their planet.

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Humans believe themselves to be more empathetic than other animals, but in truth there are very few things that amuse humans more than seeing other humans hurt themselves.

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    When we told Noah to build that ship we were imagining something a bit more... interstellar.

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  17. 25. sij

    To humans, eating other animals together is a common way to socialise.

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  18. 25. sij

    Oh no. They’re equipping their space warriors with arrows and darts. The universe trembles in fear.

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    25. sij

    Progressives want to put thirsty humans in jail.

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  20. 24. sij

    Just got the lab results that confirm that cats and dogs cannot type. Apparently, behind every single dog and cat avatar on Twitter hides a human with a twisted beauty ideal.

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    24. sij

    Apparently humans aren’t the only animal on Earth that may rape you in your sleep.

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