There are 5 basic keys to a full, happy and successful life.
The fact I can only remember one or two explains an awful lot.
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Odd Man Out
@HotDamnTamale
Dogs are the superior species of the planet. Gen-X Socialist. 100% Scorpio. My existence serves no purpose. Pro Extinction Level Event.
Hell on EarthJoined January 2015
Odd Man Out’s Tweets
I'm cold and I feel gross.
Can today be over already? I need a drink.
I've been told to stop answering the phone at work in the voice of Morgan Freeman.
No one lets me have any fun.
suggestive > explicit
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Taco Thursday. Not quite as alliterative, but just as tasty.
So there's a new guy at work completely unqualified, has no clue what he's doing, and makes my workday complete hell. But his wife has health issues and they prob need the ins, so I keep quiet. Am I an idiot?
Dear Week,
Are you going to let me have at least one halfway decent night's sleep, or is this just gonna be a thing now?
can we just snuggle and talk about random shit?
Should I be thankful I have no idea who Eliza Bleu is?
TFW you realize you have nothing anyone wants.
If I had a time machine, I'd go back and cockblock my parents
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I see little point in remaining in this world
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No one interacts with my tweets, so here's a cute dog pic.
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Are my tweets hidden or am I just really this dull?
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I smell cat litter.
I don't own a cat.
Public Service Message:
Fritos and coffee taste like dark chocolate.
Whatever it is, I'm just too tired to care.
Unless, like, it's boobs or something
entering my Get Off My Lawn arc
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So. . . anything NOT mind-numbingly stupid going on today?
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Eating stuffed mushrooms and watching The Last Of Us
People should watch Song of the South and learn from it, not try to wipe it from existence. No one ever learned anything from closing their eyes.
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For shits n giggles I spent a little over an hour today running around yelling "I'm a pretty pretty Princess!"
I'll knock a bitch out for some cheesecake
Fit Check
You know you've beaten the internet spy machine when Twitter and Youtube don't have a clue what kind of content to suggest to you.
High and watching Bond movies
. Your return information clearly states "The UPS Store will pack, label and ship your return for free." But my local UPS Store charges for packing returns. Seems a bit misleading.
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Funny how inflation is supposed to be going down, home prices are supposed to be cratering, and yet my rent is still going up by hundreds.
The world was more pleasant with Christmas lights. I'm ready for Spring. Scratch that, just euthanize me, I'm sick of this place.
Apparently the secret to Ozempic is that it makes you completely sick to your stomach and you spend the whole day fighting off the urge to hurl.
Let's see what kind of rampant stupidity is on Twitter today. . . .
Stalinist idiots love to skip over this part of WWII
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Russia’s myth of being anti-fascist.
(A thread
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The effect of portraying the Russians as the great enemy of fascism has been the portrayal of the Russians as the “eternal enemy” of fascism. Even under the Soviet Union, that was not entirely true.
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The effect of portraying the Russians as the great enemy of fascism has been the portrayal of the Russians as the “eternal enemy” of fascism. Even under the Soviet Union, that was not entirely true.Show this thread
Trying to decide if I want to go with beer or bourbon tonight to numb myself from the insanity of existence.
Someone somewhere is making enchiladas.
I can smell it.
fun fact: hirsute and hairsuit mean the same thing