Lauren Johnson

@History_Lauren

Author & historian. Mostly drinking tea & sitting. First novel out now. First history book ('England in 1509') out 2016.

London
Joined November 2011

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  1. Hard to concentrate on Georgia's dancing when there's a lady dressed as a teapot and candlestick as ziggy stardust.

  2. This is an intriguing definition of 'fact'... (Much as I love a ghostly tale.)

  3. Retweeted

    100 years later, Marie Curies' research papers remain radioactive

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  4. Agreed! X

  5. Colour me intrigued...

  6. With that, I'm done.

  7. : More contraceptive advice. Castrate a male weasel (release it alive) & carry its balls in your bosom, tied in goose skin.

  8. : Don't want to get pregnant? Carry the womb of an infertile goat against your nude flesh. Sorted.

  9. I am no longer writing an article, am I? I'm just finding gross things in Trotula. Oh! There's more!

  10. : Want kids? No worries. Dip damp wool in ass's milk then tie it round your middle and keep it there 'til you have sex. Mmm

  11. : Infertile? No worries. Dry & powder the liver & testicles of a small pig (which has only had 1 sow) and eat it.

  12. ALSO the Trotula .Basically . To have a son? Hubby should dry the womb & vagina of a hare then drink with wine. Foolproof.

  13. "If a monk gives to another drink in which there is a dead mouse or a drowned weasel, he is to sing 300 psalms."

  14. ‘If anyone intentionally cuts off any of his own members’, penance of 3 years on bread and water. Ouch.

  15. Penitential of Burchard of Worms v specific: Fornication by yourself / with a beast of burden / any quadraped: 3 years penance.

  16. Retweeted

    fantastic directors & & writers &

  17. Rereading medieval penitentials. ‘Hast thou washed thyself in the bath with thy wife and other women and seen them nude, and they thee?’

  18. Lauren Johnson followed , and
    • @honeyandjam

      Author of Honey & Jam: Seasonal Baking from My Kitchen in the Mountains. available now:

    • @NonFictioness

      Author & Editor (How to Skin a Lion, The Georgian Art of Gambling). Tweeting about books, writing, history, quirky facts & things that catch my eye.

  19. Had an amazing time leading tour groups around after dark this week. Here's a sneak view.

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  20. Retweeted

    I wrote about Anglo-Saxon swearing, euphemism and some proper medieval smut in

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