Hiding in the Attic

@HidingNDAttic

Raccoon is my legal name but my friends call me "Mints"

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Vrijeme pridruživanja: ožujak 2018.
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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    8. svi 2019.

    The pyramids are over 4500 years old and not to be a bitch but it shows

    6 replies 49 proslijeđenih tweetova 235 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    12. tra 2018.

    Whatever happened to ol’ fashioned family values? Like eating dinner together and supporting each other and wearing only white and shaving your head and giving all your possessions and women to the Leader and — oh crap I joined a cult

    52 proslijeđena tweeta 147 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  3. 1. velj

    She’s the one

    3 proslijeđena tweeta 11 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    24. sij 2013.

    I Don't care what we've said in our raps, woman come No 1. We all owe our lives to wemon.

    266 replies 8.784 proslijeđena tweeta 13.906 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. sij

    In the last decade: - I met my future wife - I got my legs stuck in two separate toilets - I got married - I sued the toilet maker for $14 million - My wife left me for a guy who wasn’t stuck in two toilets - I lost the toilet money gambling online - Legs still stuck in toilets

    79 replies 662 proslijeđena tweeta 9.942 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    25. pro 2019.

    If you liked it, then you should have put five golden rings on it.

    11 replies 105 proslijeđenih tweetova 244 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  7. 18. pro 2019.

    Please donate to my kickstarter to make a porno that will be called “The Nutting Professor” starring an Eddie Murphy look alike who plays his own step-father, step-mother, and step-sister, all of whom he fucks. This is my life’s work.

    2 proslijeđena tweeta 4 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  8. 10. pro 2019.

    Sure, you’ve seen the warnings on products that include small objects about the choking hazard they pose to children? But did you know that adults can also choke on small objects? Next time you think of swallowing a small object, remember: even adults can choke.

    1 proslijeđeni tweet 5 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  9. 10. pro 2019.

    If I were a guard and there was a killer on the loose I’d prolly be jamming out with headphones and the other guard behind me would be all “he’s killing me!” and I’d not turn around but just be like “what’s that you say? Killer beats?” and keep jamming ignorant to the murder.

    2 proslijeđena tweeta 9 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  10. 10. pro 2019.

    I am starting a new public awareness campaign to warn the public that small objects are also a choking hazard to adults. It’s called “Choking Hazards: The Small Killer.” Thank you for donating to my kickstarter.

    1 reply 1 proslijeđeni tweet 5 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    7. stu 2019.

    the government charges $572321423.57 more for a one foot submarine than subway (private corporation) does. just more corruption.

    5 replies 40 proslijeđenih tweetova 242 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. stu 2019.

    [naming the white house] President: any ideas? Guy who named the Orange: are u sitting down for this

    13 replies 1.650 proslijeđenih tweetova 13.492 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. lis 2019.

    I don't like candy corn. I don't care how many times it has saved my life.

    5 proslijeđenih tweetova 12 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  14. 31. lis 2019.

    Me: Trick or treat Neighbor: You aren’t even wearing a costume Me: I’m dressed as an adult Neighbor: Yeah it looks like you’re like 30 Me: It’s a really good costume

    2 proslijeđena tweeta 8 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. lis 2019.

    HERMIONE: I’m so glad to be at a high school without all the stuff muggle schools have: sex, drugs... DUMBLEDORE: There’s literally so much you're just a fricking nerd

    5 replies 87 proslijeđenih tweetova 952 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  16. 18. lis 2019.

    Dad: Time to watch Down Syndrome Alley Me: DAD! Dad: Oh I mean Down Syndrome Abbey

    2 proslijeđena tweeta 4 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  17. 16. lis 2019.

    “My tax dollars pay your salary!” I say as I am tackled by a Walmart security guard, spilling several liters of stolen margarita mixer, which I mistakenly assumed was alcoholic.

    2 proslijeđena tweeta 9 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. lis 2019.

    Adulthood feels exactly like when you’re going downstairs and you expect there to be another step but then there isn’t.

    445 proslijeđenih tweetova 1.827 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  19. 27. ruj 2019.

    My name is Larry Penislicker so as you can imagine Larry the Cable Guy totally ruined my first name for me.

    What piece of pop culture has ruined your first name?
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    2 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    22. ruj 2019.

    So is there a Mrs. Federal Boobie Inspector?

    42 proslijeđena tweeta 81 korisnik označava da mu se sviđa
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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    18. ruj 2019.

    Bad news. SNL has unearthed several thousand clips of me making fun of people's mommas. I will no longer be joining the show. Please know that I myself had a momma, and this was simply a four decade long comedy misfire and whatnot.

    310 replies 3.018 proslijeđenih tweetova 42.282 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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