NEW: There ain't no party like a Gloria Hunniford party!
And, in our May edition, @HelenZaltzman reveals how a night with La Hunniford provided her first tantalising taste of (Kentish) fame.
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MY BIRD NEEDS PEACE
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I'm ignoring the spelling of "neighbor" in order to permit me to imagine his bird as a raddled blonde wearing a housecoat, feather trimmed mules and a sour expression as she chain smokes Players, flicking the lipstick-ringed butts over the fence at the kids
End of conversation
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