I used to do this whenever someone asked me "do you work here" when I was off shift at my retail job.
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Why? I'd just say, "cool, thanks." It doesn't need to be complicated.
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Я не говорю по-английски
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Twitter and Twitter! What is Twitter?!
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When I used to travel often, I’d respond to unsolicited comments about their Asian wife/girlfriend from white creepos with, “I’m sorry, I don’t speak English,” in a straight face.
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I got weird looks in France when I would answer "Je'n parle pas Francais" which in French is "I don't speak French". It's literally one of the little bit of French I do know.
End of conversation
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When traveling to German I attempted to teach a friend a few phrases. When he uttered to one person "No sprechen Sie Deutsch", which basically translates to "YOU don't speak German" I quickly put a halt to that.
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"Je ne parle pas anglais. Parlez-vous francais?" works here too. "Merde." works if they do. And that is the lesson called "what I remember from HS French class." :) Though they didn't teach that in an actual class.
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