I agree with Liz that there needs to be a framework for social forgiveness & reintegration. I would dispute the "retain some continuity between their life/identity before an after the mistake." In some cases, the continuity has to be broken & a new life started. https://twitter.com/ebruenig/status/1371928956652417030 …
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True. You can forgive someone and not want to seek additional retribution but not want a future relationship. Being forgiven doesn't mean you get to resume your old role in the group/society.
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I think many many people are ready to forgive, but they have to wade through mounds of PR fluff non-apologies and it can be pretty jading.
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We live in an era where there are actual tropes to apologies. Why would anyone be anything other than completely cynical about remorse?
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Stephen Glass was rejected from every state bar based on his actions when he was a journalist (& his lack of disclosure). deBoer fabricated a very malicious smear while acting as a journalist, a profession which requires trust on behalf of the reader.
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I really don't know if there's a good answer, and would like Bruenig (and Jeet) to write more about it. But DeBoer didn't just take a time-out like Glass, he voluntarily got institutionalized and got back on his meds. That's not just "I apologize if you were offended"
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Maybe we need a new Byrd Rule. If you renounce your bad deeds and the targets of your bad deeds accept your renunciation, then you’re good to go. It’s not up to the unaffected to offer forgiveness.
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Byrd also freely admitted that he would spend the rest of his life asking for forgiveness. “I know now I was wrong. Intolerance had no place in America. I apologized a thousand times … and I don’t mind apologizing over and over again. I can’t erase what happened.”
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? there are some pretty well-known programs that provide such frameworks, usually with, say 12 steps to follow...
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Forgiveness Anonymous
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All must begin with accountability or it is meaningless
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