The military? The church?
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There's a guaranteed job in the military if you show up sober on time and will live in a rural hell hole
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My understanding is that for the military you usually only need to arbitrarily move to random undesirable places every FEW years, though.
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The physical risks are real, but it is *very* possible to be mostly incompetent and retire as an O-4, with a defined benefit pension after 20 years. I’ve personally seen it happen. The military has genuine heroes, but its personnel system also protects time serving mediocrities.
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The thing about academia today is that one can be a more than competent scholar and teacher but still be borderline indigent. A generation ago someone like that might not be at an R1, but they’d still have a real career at a smaller college. Those days are over.
End of conversation
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The jobs are pretty guaranteed, and until recently promotions were pretty automatic up to the O4 and E6 levels. Backwaters yes, Polk is miserable, but at least you have income.
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