𝐻𝒶𝓇𝑔𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓈 & 𝒮𝒾𝓇

@HargreavesSir

𝐻𝒶𝓇𝑔𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓈 & 𝒮𝒾𝓇 𝑒𝓍𝒾𝓈𝓉 𝒾𝓃 𝒶 𝓊𝓃𝒾𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈𝑒 𝒸𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝑒𝓈𝓅𝑒𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 & 𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒹𝒶𝒾𝓁𝓎 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓂𝓅𝓉 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑒𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓈

Who Knows 
Vrijeme pridruživanja: prosinac 2019.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    “We need more friends, Hargreaves. Maybe we should try one of those that you babble on about.” “We could try, sir. The are renowned for their hospitality and warmth.” “Give it a try then. But don’t beg, Hargreaves.We’re not savages.”

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  2. “My heart beats with perpetual bliss at the sight of your constant beauty...” “Whoah,Hargreaves.” “What’s wrong,sir?” “That’s all a bit to fancy-smancy don’t you think?” “I’ve been told to make my Tinder bio stand out from the rest.” “You utter muppet.”

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  3. “As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death...” “Why walk, Hargreaves? Grab yourself an Über.” “It doesn’t have the same profound poetic impact, sir.” “You’re not going through that ‘wannabe urban street poet’ phase again.” “Nah, bruv I ain’t being a Wasteman.” “😒

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  4. “Miss Davenport is playing that bleeding song again, Hargreaves?!” “Because she knows Maria Carey’s annoys you, sir. At least it’s not the Macarena this time.” “Or We’re Going to Ibiza by The Venga Boys.” “I quite like...” “Shut up, Hargreaves.”

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  5. “For Buddah’s sake where in the name of Allah is my gone, Hargreaves?! It was here a moment ago” “God knows,sir.That’s the 84th time you’ve misplaced it this week” “Jesus wept it’s driving me mad!” “Ah,there it is. Zeus is playing with it” “That bloody cat!”

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  6. “I think I’ve finally figured out how Twitter works, Hargreaves.” “Really, sir...that’s amazing news. How did you happen upon this discovery?” “Porn.” “Excuse me, sir?” “I’ve made a fake female profile and now I’ve got 18 sugar daddies & a chalet full of penis photos.” “Oh.”

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  7. “Why did you answer the door, Hargreaves?!” “Because it’s what you pay me to do,sir.” “Well look where that’s got us! I’m too old & wealthy to be a conscript. It’s beneath me.” “You’re 23 and by all accounts the war will be over by Christmas.” “It better had be.”

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  8. “That’s not how you say it, sir.” “Tis so,Hargreaves. I’m richer and a lot further up the social hierarchy than you. So I’m basically right all the time.” “50% of what you say is true. But it’s still pronounced rose-a-wine. Not wine.” “You imbecilic peasant boy!”

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  9. “I think we should doing something very special & ordinary for today’s ,sir.” “Like what exactly, Hargreaves?” “I was thinking something along the lines of poetry.” “I’d rather dry hump that lame looking hedgehog over there.” “I’ll take that as a no then.”

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  10. “I can’t wait for the New Year to start, Hargreaves.” “That’s a long way off, sir. It’s only January.” “Ah, you’ve not heard. After the shit show so far it’s been agreed to restart 2020 from February.” “Cheers to that, sir.” “Exactly now pop open the bubbly.”

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  11. “It’s stupendous, Hargreaves.” “Outrageously , sir.” “I’ve never seen anything so monstrous.” “It’s defyingly humongous.” “Scarily ginormous.” “Thunderously enormous.” “Basically it’s huge.” “Yes, sir. You’ve purchased a whopping great watermelon.”

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  12. “It’s a strange word the more you look at it, Hargreaves.” “What word would that be, sir?” “.” “How so?” “The more I look at it I think it should be a posh way of saying ‘Cold’.” “That the English language for you.” “Hengljsh language don’t you mean?” “Know.”

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  13. “Why do you have a black eye,sir?” “I bought my wife a very special present” “What did you purchase?” “A Vaginal Candle” “A candle that smells of vagina?” “Her vagina” “Oh” “Thing is Hargreaves I got my senses mixed up and got one that was scented like her sisters instead”

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  14. “Happy , Hargreaves.” “Thank you sir but it’s anniversary.” “What did I just say?” “Adversary.” “Did I?” “Yes.” “You’re mocking me?!” “I assure you not.” “That’s the kind of thing an adversary would do!” “Foe the record I’m not your nemesis!”

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  15. “Bloody Nora,Hargreaves! Where’s my Rover at?” “You lost it to Lord Beaverbrooke during a game of cribbage,sir” “Oh, now you mention it that rings a bell. What am I supposed to drive now?” “Lord Beaverbrooke’s BMW” “Only obnoxious twats drive BMW’s” “Exactly”

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  16. “Please stop, sir. You’re making my ears bleed and my colon wince with displeasure.” “One needs to stretch ones vocal chords, Hargreaves. Otherwise I won’t be stupendously for tonight’s recital.” “What recital?” “I’m holding one in my shower. It’s sold out!”

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  17. “How in the name of Nick Knowles are we meant to make today’s humorous, Hargreaves?” “Who’s Nick Knowles, sir?” “That DIY SOS chap off the gogglebox.” “Oh, Beyoncé’s dad.” “I think you’re telling fibs.” “I to knowles it’s the truth,sir.”

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  18. “It was a simple request, Hargreaves. There was no need for the Music Teller to be so arsey.” “Instead of asking them is they had a vinyl copy of Companion Animal by The Sand Young Males, sir...You should simply have asked for Pet Sounds by The Beach Boys.”

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  19. “The is on the wall, Hargreaves.” “Who for, sir?” “Look...there’s literally writing on the wall.” “‘You may have the where as I have the upper hand’. Who wrote that, sir?” “My mother. She’s been on the pink prosecco again.”

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  20. “You can’t identify as a cauliflower,sir.” “And why not,Hargreaves? I can identity as whatever vegetable I very well like. You’re a califlowerist aren’t you?!” “No,sir.I’m not a cauliflowerist.” “I bet if I identified as a broccoli you’d be biggest supporter & advocate.”

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  21. “Where are we going, sir?” “If you take a left down there,then a right,go over the hill then take your sixth left, followed by a sharp right, go under the viaduct then after a quarter of a mile take your ninth left and there we are!” “So we’re going home.”

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