Christoph

@Halalcoholism

Secular humanist. So woke that I struggle to get adequate sleep.

Somewhere eating rice
Joined March 2015

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Jan 1

    Join me, fellow travellers, as I look back on 2018 through the medium of hot takes (*Cues "The Way We Were" by Barbara Streisand*)

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  2. Retweeted

    One of the best pieces of writing I came across in 2018: A description of the meteor that killed the dinosaurs.

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  3. Retweeted
    24 hours ago

    this Chinese four generations meme is so wholesome omg

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  4. Retweeted
    Jan 2
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  5. Retweeted

    HERE'S A TIP AND ALSO A WAY TO PREVENT FUTURE EMBARRASSMENT FOR URSELVES, IF U HATE VEGETABLES U PROB CAN'T COOK AND ALSO HAVE NEVER EATEN ANYTHING GOOD, AT LEAST KEEP IT QUIET

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  6. 13 hours ago

    Look I dunno that much about this Saddam guy but from what I’ve heard he’s against all the SJW stuff so on that front yeah I like what he’s doing

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  7. Retweeted

    No clip better captures Rubin's profound ignorance than this one. He lives in a simple cartoon world divided neatly into good (capitalism, anti-SJWism) and bad (Marxism, SJWism). This Bolsowhatever guy seems to be pro-Good and anti-Bad, so who knows but he sounds okay!

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  8. 15 hours ago

    Eating a regular sausage roll as my enemies, the vegans, cower in fear at my unwavering masculinity

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  9. Retweeted
    22 hours ago

    Wife and I have ongoing argument about whether one of the cats is fat (me) or just “fluffy” (wife). Vet told wife yesterday that cat is dangerously fluffy and needs to be 25% less fluffy to avoid diabetes risk.

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  10. Jan 3

    I’m not sure that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will ever recover from the revelation that she was ACTUALLY known as “Sandy” in high school. This is a scandal on par with people named “Charles” calling themselves “Chuck”.

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  11. Jan 3

    Small brain: Destroying your political opponents by bringing up offensive tweets from 10 years ago Galaxy brain: Destroying your political opponents by bringing up clips of them being fun and likeable from 10 years ago

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  12. Jan 3

    A terrifying glimpse into Ocasio-Cortez’s vision of America’s transition to communist rule. It will be known as the “Dance Dance Revolution”.

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  13. Retweeted
    Jan 1

    👩🏼‍🦰Your obsessive online scepticism will ruin our marriage 👨‍💻Er hello, slippery slope fallacy 👩🏼‍🦰 Nice guys don’t act this way 👨‍💻 No True Scotsman 👩🏼‍🦰 Our friends say so too 👨‍💻 Argumentum ad populum 👩🏼‍🦰 U r such a dick 👨‍💻 Ad hominem 👩🏼‍🦰 I’m leaving 👨‍💻“I’m leaving” is not an argument

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  14. Retweeted
    Dec 31

    small brain: flirt on tinder normal brain: flirt on facebook glowing brain: flirt on linkedin galaxy brain: flirt on ancestry dot com

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  15. Retweeted
    Jan 2

    -Hello Sir, welcome to False Equivalences Inc. How can I help you today? -I’d like a false equivalence, if that’s ok? -Sure, sure, what size would sir like, we start off at tiny and go to lar -ONE YOU CAN SEE FROM ALPHA CENTAURI WITH THE NAKED FUCKING EYE -step this way, sir!

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  16. Jan 2

    When a comedian tells a joke and I quickly work out whether it punches up or down so I can decide to laugh or not.

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  17. Retweeted
    Jan 1

    If a non checkmark account so much as breaths out of place they'll get put in timeout, but checkmarks can say the craziest shit and nothing happens.

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  18. Jan 1

    This is absolutely correct & it’s not even close. Stevie’s output between 1968 and 1980 is incredible. There’s a convincing case to be made that he’s the greatest solo artist in the history of not just soul music, but popular music in general. Not enough people recognise this.

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  19. Retweeted
    Jan 1

    Y'know...if it wasn't for the recent leaked routine, a bunch of conservatives stanning for Louis CK would be mocking him as yet another example of male feminists that turned out to be sex pests on the left. Just sayin'.

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  20. Jan 1

    👩🏼‍🦰Your obsessive online scepticism will ruin our marriage 👨‍💻Er hello, slippery slope fallacy 👩🏼‍🦰 Nice guys don’t act this way 👨‍💻 No True Scotsman 👩🏼‍🦰 Our friends say so too 👨‍💻 Argumentum ad populum 👩🏼‍🦰 U r such a dick 👨‍💻 Ad hominem 👩🏼‍🦰 I’m leaving 👨‍💻“I’m leaving” is not an argument

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  21. Retweeted
    Jan 1

    When people tell me he doesn't have authoritarian tendencies.

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