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HPluckrose's profile
Helen Pluckrose
Helen Pluckrose
Helen Pluckrose
@HPluckrose

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Helen Pluckrose

@HPluckrose

Editor @AreoMagazine Secular, liberal humanist. Mother. Doglover. Writing book about epistemology & ethics on the academic left Helen.pluckrose@areomagazine.com

London.
areomagazine.com/author/hpluckr…
Joined August 2011

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    1. Mike‏ @citation_needed May 22
      Replying to @citation_needed @GodDoesnt and

      But more seriously; I'm with Helen. I'm not seeing this offering anything new. Of course the culture is changing, quickly, because of the massive alteration in child-rearing. We've had half a century, maybe, to adjust to this; it's a sudden change to what we did for millennia.

      2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
    2. Mike‏ @citation_needed May 22
      Replying to @citation_needed @GodDoesnt and

      That is we the human species. We the gays don't really get why it's so difficult, because for us it's pretty simple. I want sex, he wants sex, we want each other, we do it, case closed. If we like each other (or it was really good), we'll schedule further performances.

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
    3. Mike‏ @citation_needed May 22
      Replying to @citation_needed @GodDoesnt and

      It is obscenely straightforward in this neck of the woods - Iona calls me an alien from Planet Gay every time the topic comes up. I have had "courtships" that went "You're hot. Wanna screw? My place? Sweet." One led to a six-month relationship, before he moved away.

      5 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
    4. Mike‏ @citation_needed May 22
      Replying to @citation_needed @GodDoesnt and

      I am blithely confident that you, the heterosexuals, will stumble through this period and come out all right; but I honestly think that you'd benefit from taking a leaf out of our book. We talk plainly about it. All cards on the table. You guys do the most convoluted things.

      4 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
    5. (((A Student, For Real)))‏ @J_indetroit May 22
      Replying to @citation_needed @GodDoesnt and

      I’ve heard Dan Savage talk about diff between male gay sexual behavior vs. lesbian. He said the difference between straight & gay relationships was not homosexuality, but in having women involved in the equation. Without doing a lot of research right now, this seems plausible.

      2 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
    6. Mike‏ @citation_needed May 22
      Replying to @J_indetroit @GodDoesnt and

      Women do operate *very* differently from men on this, true. There's the joke about "what does a lesbian bring on the second date? A U-haul." - my lesbian friends tell me it's not funny because it hits too close to home...

      1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
    7. Mike‏ @citation_needed May 22
      Replying to @citation_needed @J_indetroit and

      ...but I still hold that better, non-judgemental, honest communication would go a long way towards easing things. A lot of the problems - both at group and individual level - seem to be caused by no-one having psychic powers.

      2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
    8. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose May 22
      Replying to @citation_needed @J_indetroit and

      Absolutely. This is why I argue for a rigorous gender studies programme. Blank slatism is the worst possible thing for gender relations. It brings - Why won't women act more like men, or right now 'Why won't men act more like women?' depending which sex has moral superiority

      2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
    9. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose May 22
      Replying to @HPluckrose @citation_needed and

      My adult adopted daughter said the best advice I ever gave her was 'The good man is not the one who intuitively knows what you need from him, but the one who, when you tell him very clearly, wants to provide it for you.' (Disclaimer: Works both ways, must be reasonable)

      2 replies 5 retweets 14 likes
      Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose May 22
      Replying to @HPluckrose @citation_needed and

      No good all this: But I was behaving this way. How could he not know that what I needed was for him to stop trying to fix the problem and just listen to it and give me a cuddle?

      5:04 AM - 22 May 2018
      • 3 Likes
      • Regina🎃 James Lindsay Iona Italia
      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Mike‏ @citation_needed May 22
          Replying to @HPluckrose @J_indetroit and

          Best advice I was ever given was when a (now ex) boyfriend was bothered by something, and one of our friends just turned to me and said "did you try asking what's wrong and how you can help?" - boom. Problem solved.

          1 reply 1 retweet 8 likes
        3. Mike‏ @citation_needed May 22
          Replying to @citation_needed @HPluckrose and

          It's amazing how much easier all my relationships - romantic/sexual, familial, platonic, even work ones - became once I made that approach universal. Comes back, again, to clarity and honesty of communication - with the iron-clad promise of zero judgement.

          0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        4. End of conversation

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