We need to be clear what is meant when someone says 'incels.' Are we talking abt individuals who get together online & plan & celebrate violence against women? If so, of course, we must regard them as dangerous ideologically-motivated criminals/potential criminals/collaborators
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Are we talking about groups of misogynists who post hateful messages about women being evil but do not plan violence? Then we should treat them with the same mixture of pity and contempt as groups of misandrists who do the same thing.
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Are we talking about men who have complex political beliefs about societies being gynocentric and women being shallow & only interested in certain men? Treat them with the same open-minded skepticism as those who talk about patriarchy, beauty myths, objectification & fatphobia
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Are we talking about all men who are involuntarily celibate? Treat them and women in the same position with sympathy and supportiveness if they seek it, with dignity & minding your own business if they don't.
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What is essential is not conflating all of these individuals into greater or lesser manifestations of the same thing as is so commonly seen now and instead saying precisely what you mean.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
"Incel", as I understand it, refers explicitly to a community of people, men specifically, who not only seem incapable of having normal relationships, but who blame their circumstances on women not giving them affection. This is a contemptible view. Affection is not owed.
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Replying to @AnHonestNobody @HPluckrose
Now, as it happens, I understand perfectly well the resentment and loneliness that comes with feeling unwanted. Been there most of my life. I understand what these guys feel. But to place blame on others for not giving you what you want requires almost unfathomable conceit.
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Replying to @AnHonestNobody @HPluckrose
But these guys, they aren't even talking about relationships! They're talking specifically about sex. They're not unique: Catholic clergy are sex-obsessed hysterical virgins too. These dudes do not see the reason they're alone can be found with a glance at a mirror.
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I think its to do with the balance of power evening up. Previously, its only been women who have blamed men for their criteria of mate selection in an explicitly politicised way. Of course, the whole 'Golddigger' thing has been around for a while.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
Right; "Men don't want me because men have unrealistic standards", but even then, that logic was silly. It's a similar refusal to accept that what people want isn't something we as individuals can control.
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