Obviously, I meant to say, Men not finding certain women attractive = misogynistic beauty myths, objectification, fatphobia, toxic masculinity. Women not finding certain men attractive = why the fuck should they? Men are not entitled to women, toxic masculinity.
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Millennials are having less sex than previous generations. The sexual revolution has created a sexual elite who can pick and choose and gorge on as much sex as they fancy. On the other hand those whose sex-lives might once have involved banging the spouse once a week are single.
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Thinking about the 'incel' controversy I don't think I known men displaying that level of misogyny. But in the Tinder realm have heard men bemoan that even the less women ignore them, preferring to be option 20 on some hunk's hitlist. The sexual marketplace is ruthless.
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Which is why I very quickly recoiled from the casual sex concept early in adult life. Just seemed to amount to treating people as a human dildo/fleshlight. Not for me.
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You're fighting against one of the strongest, morally-coloured emotions we've got: disgust. I wish people were more self-reflective about their more immediate instincts & empathise a little more with what the other person might be experiencing. That being said, nature is harsh.
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I really respect your empathy. You have a wonderful grasp of nuance which is so rarely evident online. Most tweets beg you to agree with them, they think polarising opinion is a victory. I love that you leave so much intellectual space for people to think freely in.
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On the topic of real entitlement, why do people feel entitled to try and dictate other people's preferences? Groups of people they don't even like or respect? 'Hi toxic males, like different things. I know best. Also fuck you.' That's only going to generate spite and antipathy.
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What strikes me about the incels is that it isn’t sex they want. It’s status (albeit acquired via sex). Laughing at “virgin losers” (as opposed to being horrified by their violent misogyny) plays into the culture which created them in the first place.
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I agree but also think that beauty standards exist, for both genders, and beauty and/or “sexiness” tends to be excessively commodified, and valued over all other good character qualities. I understand how it sometimes doesn’t feel fair (imho).
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“The personal is the political” in sexual politics boils down to a wish that humans were other than they are. The opposite means human sexuality is not subject to legislative review or cajoling — and that is terrifying to people whose careers are made on those.
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I don't want to police anyone's attractions (or have my own policed). But at the same time, there's a political aspect to which people get classified as attractive. Admitting that doesn't require us to police attractions.
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It's where I come up short of fully supporting fat acceptance. Every time I nod along while someone mentions feeling comfortable in their skin or living life on their own terms, someone else comes along with a "So you agree. Now, f*ck me or else!"
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Clearly we need state ordered GFs and BFs
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