I only object to people calling me by my first name while if they expect me to address them formally. It is fine if you want to be addressed formally because you think it gives you authority. It's not OK to then address me informally because you think it gives you authority.https://twitter.com/shannimcg/status/985979867786178560 …
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I know this might seem petty to many people but it really, really annoys me. Presumptuous. If you require formality for yourself, extend it to other people. I will respect you for your greater knowledge and expertise and for your superior position to me, not for your posturing.
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I make an exception to this with the elderly people I cared for. I addressed them formally & introduced myself as Helen. They were in a vulnerable position allowing a stranger to wash & dress them & I wanted to enable them to protect their dignity & distance however they saw fit.
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My moral foundations are very much liberal here. I don't do well at respect for authority but this doesn't mean I don't consider certain people authoritative and respect them for it. It just means I will choose who they are and how I show this.
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When I was 20, a doctor told me I had trouble with authority because I didn't accept her calling me by my first name & she refused to remember this. I pointed out that she didn't actually have any authority over me and that she was actually doing a job for me for which I paid her
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I think there is a huge difference between expecting to have your knowledge and expertise respected and talking down to people. If someone is in a vulnerable position to you & can be expected to be feeling insecure, this is all the more reason not to assert dominance hierarchies
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OK, I'm going to shut up. Someone awoke the bee in my bonnet on this topic.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
Just idle speculation here, but I wonder what the odds are that the person you quoted at the top also thinks the existence of dominance hierarchies = the Patriarchy.
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Although she'd say this was unjust hierarchy but then she'd probably deny she was advocating a meritocracy too.
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