One does not need to think sexual relationships are trivial to think that non-sexual relationships are non-trivial. I have a very close circle of female friends & a smaller number of male friends whom I love & connect with on a mental & emotional and totally non-sexual level.https://twitter.com/DM_Berger/status/967560235148701696 …
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These sorts of miscommunications are the worst. A friend asked me to dinner for what I thought was meant to be a platonic dinner but later began to have suspicions he thought was a date. 1/
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After much waffling, I decided to clarify and said that I was happy to have dinner as long as he understood I was not dating. Turns out, he wanted a date and declined to have dinner with me if I wasn’t interested in dating him. 2/
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I felt bad because he is trans and I’m sure that made dating a challenge, but friends pointed out to me that the smart thing for him to do would have been to have dinner with me anyway because why wouldn’t you want to be friends with me even if you can’t date me?? 3/
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I hadn’t thought about it that way but yes, why indeed? My friends find me perfectly lovely. To this day I have no idea if it was a case of sour grapes on his part, if he was mortified to have misread the situation, or if he decided I was transphobic for saying no. :( /end
End of conversation
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More often that not it's due to a failure to communicate. If you're sexually attracted to someone you should be clear about that. Similarly if someone is sexually attracted to you but you aren't attracted to them it's best to make it clear. The problem is that this isn't easy.
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