This reminds of something I read a long time ago. It seems Dylan Thomas’s wife was more jealous of women her husband made intellectual connections with than the women he actually slept with. I get that.
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And that's cool! But not everyone is into intellectual compatibility as much. For some, that's just a surface component of "a connection". So they are going to say the connections you call "deep" are rather superficial. Fundamental values difference. Not stupidity or shallowness.
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