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There is primary and secondary bonding. It is most important, biologically speaking, to be close to the mother. Secondary bonds develop with the father when he is home or during the paternity leave, which should coincide with mom’s leave so the family can bond together as a unit.
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Is there evidence of this? If we were able to have a second one, it would have been my husband who wanted to be main carer. He's a lot better at it and enjoys it more. More nurturing.
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I wasn’t implying that we shouldn’t have a choice on who stays home. That should definitely be up to each couple. One of my best friends works and her husband stayed home. She makes more. Her husband is an excellent dad. My SO is an excellent dad but he makes six times what I do.
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I also want to stay home with my baby as I do not want to pay others to raise my children for me. I was working at my oldest son’s Montessori school, which I still sometimes get called in to work for substitution. But I can bring my baby with me for that, so I am lucky.
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That's a bit all or nothing tho. I didn't get other people to raise my child for me. I was still her primary parent. I just had my own interests and work too.
End of conversation
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