I like Essex, but I must admit that I adore a good Brummie or Scouse accent. 
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You have strange tastes! Brummie and Essex are universally recognised as the two worst accents in the UK! West Country, Suffolk, Edinburgh are all lovely. Brummie and Essex, it is often observed, make you want to perforate your own eardrums. Scouse has some charm.
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You’ll be happy to hear that I do love Edinburgh and Welsh. And, of course, a good Danny Dyer-esque Cockney.
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I’m glad you don’t sound like a Sussex knob.
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Strange.... in my head you were always Geordie......
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Americans have never been known for their intelligence, or for their good sense of hearing!
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I disliked you far less when I heard you speaking.
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Even I know what what Essex sounds like... Perhaps you could rewrite the story "Pygmalion" for your situation?
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