not sure how you made the logical leap from protecting women from sexual violence equaling vengeance
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Replying to @MarisaKabas @zumumma
'It's sometimes necessary to use alternative methods for avoiding harm'.
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It rules out justice tho and can be used for vengeance. I think we'd all see the problem if men had an unsubstantiated list for women whose flirtation they didn't rate. I think a football team got disbanded once for doing something like this, didn't it?
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I used to be at the criminal bar, so I can see both sides of this. Some men probably should be in gaol. Others probably need to read Ovid or Debrett's and stop using poor social skills as an excuse for their charm deficit.
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I don't think people need to excuse this tho. Some people have shit social skills. There's a limit to how much time they should have to spend improving them. Some basics will do.
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*True Tory*: I'm not fond of excuses. In my tradition, 'try harder or expect a big fat zero' is legitimate advice :)
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I'm suggesting people with low social skills don't need to be excused. Other people can just deal with it. There are way more important things to spend time learning. You only really need learn them if you want to spend a lot of time being social & care about doing it well.
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Or if they're lads and want a shag :)
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Yes, there is that. I don't object to them being told to do better if they want to achieve a specific social outcome. It's the idea that there is a moral imperative to keep up with the ever changing social rules or be deemed abusive of women that bothers me.
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I see it mostly in the context of the war on nerds where men in tech,particularly, are deemed not to be sensitive enough to social nuance which is scaring women away. Many have pointed out this causes aspies a problem but I don't think you need an excuse not to comply w that shit
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